We're Back!

After a 6 month hiatus, the GeekZine is back! Currently, we're playing a little 'catch up', but the zine will start debuting as close to on-time as possible from here on out! Be sure to check out May 2011's zine featuring the winners for the First Annual "Geek Awards", artwork from Alice Malice and more!

June's zine should be up in a couple days & will have IS LIVE and has a review of X-Men First Class from MaGnUs, delicious gamer inspired steampunk artwork from Zelda, a review of Mortal Kombat from Negi, more from The HGW's "The List of things Mr Welch can no longer do in an RPG" & a sex toy review from Athena Hollow!

July will feature coverage of the first ever Days of the Dead convention from Indianapolis including a write up about the convention and pictures! And of course, August is our annual Gen Con edition. So, be sure to check back often, or just follow our facebook & twitter!

Misc

After 20 Years and Various Infidelities

By: Pixie

They have sat
Behind
their walls of glass
for years now

Everytime she reaches out for him-
some cosmic nun
slams a yardstick
down on her knuckles.
and her hand scurries to her side again.
like a spider.

They have a silence
not even a
chainsaw could get through.

She can only
look at him
behind his pane,
and see her own reflection,
his golf pants,
the zipper coming undone,
for a glimpse of his boxer shorts.

Coffee In Hell

By: Pixie

Let's go then, the both of us, into the otherworld.
Driven, thrown, forced
by something we cannot understand.
and shall we hold hands and converse to make
the journey more pleasant?
If we pool our coins together can we pay Charon
to row us across the Styx? and stop for coffee in Hell?
I hear they have sinfully good Devil's Food Cake.
But do not look at me.
I will not look at you.
I will not meet your eyes.
Neither of us are as beautiful as we once were.
and the glass glazers will hawk their wares.
and we shall continue to where ever.
Veiled like Scherezades for a 1001 nights,
I might have thrown my fan too far into the lion's den.
The music is from the merry-go-round,
polymer resin horses with distemper.

All poetry is owned by Pixie. Do not reproduce without express permission

Flowers For a Stranger: A Monologue

By: Pixie

Once again it is Spring and the dandelions are rearing their ugly heads. As always in Spring,I see her in the park every day. Sitting on the same concrete bench, her wooden cane by her side. She sits there hunting the pigeons with her eyes, pegging the fat birds in the melon with her stale bread. I have seen her so many times now I've named her. I call her "Mildred". Everyone else who walks through the park merely passes her like she is a statue or fountain, simply part of the park. I see her in 3-D. She must've been beautiful once. Her eyes are flat and lifeless. They have no discernible color. I think once they were a dark blue. The sun makes her hair an odd lavender shade. It was black once, her arched eyebrows are still dark with grey in them. When I walk by I smile, she nods her head to me. She has a crinkly face. Like an apple doll or a Shar-Pei. She's like crumpled typewriter paper. Her skin is thin. There are freckles on her cheeks. She keeps her shoulders back. I imagine her walking around with books on her head as a young woman,expounding the merits of grace and good posture.

I,myself,slouch. Until mid-May she will wear a purple coat. It's not "purple-purple". It's a brownish-purple. I think that color is called "mauve" but I'm not sure since I don't remember mauve being in my Crayola box. I know her lipstick is sienna, her eyeshadow is robin's egg blue and her blusher is flesh. No ones flesh is actually peach though. I've never seen a peach person but that's what color her cheeks are. She wears the archetypical old lady shoes, orthopedic issue brown with three rows of eyelets. Her stockings, most likely, are thigh-high's from Woolworth's with the white elastic garters I found in my grandma's drawer of "foundations".

After mid-May she wears tennis shoes and ankle socks on her solid legs. If it is breezy she wears a blood-red cardigan over her skirts and blouses. Red is a poor color for an old woman. It looks garish and cheap. She must be lonely. No one ever comes with her to her private bench. Every warm day until late September, she sits alone and eats her sandwich. Today I have a surprise for the bench warmer I call Mildred. It is a corsage of pink carnations and daisies. It will look good on her coat. A corsage is an odd thing for a woman to give another woman but I want to see if she still lives outside of bread-fed pigeons and warm sandwiches in a park. Besides, it's a nice gesture, flowers for a stranger. I walk up to her with my hand in the tote bag I carry and hand Mildred the clear plastic box with the corsage. She smiles and I see two tears in her definitely slate blue eyes. I run. She doesn't follow.

(Off Stage)

I sit in the park every day now. I never see Mildred anymore. I feed the fat pigeons my stale bread. I'll never get tired of sunwarmed tuna fish  sandwiches. Maybe she got tired of lunch in the park and that's why I haven't seen her in quite a long time. Oh, my hair's greying now. and I can't go until you bring me flowers, a corsage of carnations and daisies.
It's a nice gesture, flowers for a stranger.

THE END

Geek Artwork - Romance

By: Hedgegoth

romance

Click on the picture to see the full version

To see more of Hedgegoth's work, check out his site at ScottMcdonald.ca

GeekGirlsOnline Scavenger Hunt

From now until June 30, 2009 GeekGirlsOnline is running a Scavenger Hunt.

We have spent the past few months trying to come up with new ways to help get the word out about GeekGirlsOnline, and finally realized that we couldn't think of any porn sites that had run a real scavenger hunt! They were fun as a kid, and this will be even more fun as an adult. Scouring the world and the internet for geeky images and videos, everything from girls gaming to cosplay. We have a pretty comprehensive list of 30 items, places, and people that will have you searching for weeks! So join in! All over the age of 18 are encouraged to participate. The winner will receive a 6 month membership to GeekGirlsOnline.com, a GGO TeeShirt, stickers and a poster featuring some of the GGO Models. Come on, a game with the end goal of geeky porn? What's to lose!

Points will be awarded in two tiers: Finding a picture of it online, or taking a picture of the item/location/person in real life.

1 Point will be awarded for finding the "answer" to the clue online

2 points will be awarded for finding the "answer" to the clue in real life, and snapping a photo. You must provide proof that the photo was taken by yourself or your friend, by either appearing in the photo or using some sort of sign that says GeekGirlsOnline on it.

Once you have gathered all of your submissions, you can zip them and email them to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

Be sure to include this information with your submission:
A copy of your photo ID (information such as your social security number can be removed) (This is to verify your are in fact 18+ and eligible to have an account on GeekGirlsOnline)
OR
Your username on GeekGirlsOnline.com of an existing paid membership (Can be active or expired)
A mailing address to send the Swag Kit
A phone number, in case of complications with email
And of course, your zip file with the photos

All entries must be received by Midnight (eastern time) July 1st, 2009. Only one entry per person per household. Only your first entry counts so be sure to gather as many photos as you can before sending us your email. The winner will be determined by the highest number of points acheived. Should there be a tie, the winner will be determined by the timestamp on the email. All participants must be at least 18 years of age by June 1st, 2009.

Here's the list kids! Get Cracking!

  1. Naked Female Drow
  2. Animated D20
  3. Jolt Product Placement (I.E. a photo of a jolt can that isn't the main focus, such as a gaming group that happens to be drinking jolt)
  4. Asian in Heavy Armor (midievel or mecha)
  5. Someone famous playing D&D (That isn't directly related to the creation or maintainence of D&D)
  6. Someone with real elf ears (not the glue on kind)
  7. Hot girls playing a video game (The console HAS to be on)
  8. A guy dressed as a female cosplay and not disgracing it
  9. Person dressed as a pirate in a public place
  10. Bumper Sticker involving gaming of some sort
  11. D&D 1st Edition Rule Book for sale (any)
  12. Legend of Zelda or Mario porn
  13. A free MMO that's made in the US
  14. Two Undead making out
  15. PI tattoo
  16. A positive review of a Uwe Boll film (average of 50% rating or higher)
  17. Video of girls playing a table top RPG
  18. Poster for GenCon or Dragon*Con
  19. Live Action Darth Vader (cosplay not original work)
  20. A Geeky License Plate (not from a generator)
  21. Item Autographed by Gary Gygax
  22. A "Red Shirt" (Trekkie Cosplay)
  23. Spiderman Underwear
  24. Someone wearing a Pocket Protector
  25. An Original Transformer toy
  26. Pink and Black or Grey Thong
  27. Someone in "cokebottle" glasses
  28. D10 Earrings
  29. An R2D2 Roomba
  30. A LARP session
Good Luck!

How to break into the RPG Writing Market

By: Pixie

One would think these sexy jobs would land in the laps of geeks everywhere but that fact is pen and paper games are slowly being outshined by the immersive and quality of MMORPGs and technology is replacing dice and paper. However, there still is a small select market for written and not CGI and programming RPGs. The ways to get the developer and writing jobs in generally to sneak in through the back door. If you want to write for a particular gaming system, join that gaming studio's boards and forums and discuss intellgently and never get involved in expertise dick-waving and such. Show your knowledge of the game, provide game settings and such to th eplayers and the company overseeing it will possibly take enough notice to offer you some freelance work.

However, it is a dying market if you are a RPG writer. My own experience was that I met the Minds Eye Theatre developer of White Wolf at a coffeehouse and she knew I was a writer and my husband knew her for several years and introduced us and it turned our she needed stuff written and asked for a writing sample. It was a matter of knowing the right people. I wish it were a more honorable story as to how I got to write for two White Wolf Gaming Studio lines.

Another avenue to take is to freelance generic game settings and propose articles to the few remaining gaming magazines such as Polymancer out of Canada. The pay will not be great, but your name will get out there and writing credit will be able to go on the resume. Get the writing guidelines from magazines and such that cater you your interests and the games you enjoy the most and make the content happen and you get paid sometimes even:)

Volunteer for playtesting to to run playtests. Be aware you will have to sign the infamous NDA or Non-Disclosure Agreement, which prevents you from discussing anything about the game for two years, although once the book is out and everyone is talking about it, the NDA is null and void. You just should not discuss what changes were made from the playtested version to the final produced and printed gaming book.

You can also create your own game, or already have and want to profit from it and place it on the web and host forums to let people know about your gaming system and have it self published via lulu.com or another book publishing company for small presses. Just be sure to have not used any of the game mechanics from any other system that uses a unique dice or card system that may be owned by another pulishing house. It is a sure way to be sued. So if it's all original, self-publish at lulu.com! Create a website for it, sell it at lulu and host IRC and forums for your game. It's a great deal of work, but you wanted to be a Ferengi and profit, yes? That means work, tons of it and commitment, and if you cannot do such alone, assemble a team to keep each other on track and divide the labor of writing and get a damn fine editor to smooth each section out so the game stories, background, charcter creation, rules, and mechanics flow and aren't obviously written by a collective.

The RPG market has changed and if you are still tied to dice and paper, you face new hoops to jumps through and such, but often experts are needed, especially by Steve Jackson games, they hire experts in some fields to simply tap their brain for knowledge. The brain trust work isn't easy to get but it is out there if you have an area of absolute genius and creativity in. So look around and submit samples and ask for writer guidelines. The jobs are there, they are just hiding and much much harder to get in a market that is drying up and more competitive than others with gaming studio mergers and buyouts of late.

Lilith

By: Pixie

Lilith is a controversial figure in modern society. She's the first wife of Adam according to medieval Jewish folklore, a Sumerian demoness, the screech owl of the night in the Bible, a soul and blood sucking vampire, a succubus who create monsters form the seed of sleeping men, the ultimate virgin whore, an infanticidal adulteress, a positive role model for Pagan and Jewish women and she's even had a music festival named after her, but who or what is Lilith really?


Lilith Painting by John CollierLilith was the first wife of Adam according to most interpretations in mainstream culture and the Jewish apocryphal text The Alef-bet of Ben-Sira. She also appears in the Epic of Gilgamesh as the Sumerian Goddess Lilitu. She is the Lamia of Greek mythology as well. She is a single feminine entity that goes by many names and has many faces. As Adam's help meet pre-dating Eve, Lilith was created from the dust and was breathed into by God himself/itself. Lilith was the first woman and the complete equal of the male. When it came time to have sex, Lilith refused to lie beneath Adam, as she was his equal. She wanted to be on top and felt she was entitled to pleasure and that Adam was not superior to her simply for being created first. After arguing her equality to Adam and a compromise being unable to be reached, she fled from his side. Adam complained to God that his companion had fled the Garden and begged God to bring her back. God sent three angels to collect Lilith. By the time the angels caught up with this assertive earthly first woman, she had already created the lilim, demons who are her children and was creating them at a rate of hundreds a day.  She was immortal, as she was not cursed by Eve's choice to eat from the Tree of Knowledge. Lilith refused to return to Adam and was sentenced to endure a hundred of her demonlings dying per day. In accepting this punishment for refusing to stay with Adam and be submissive, she revenges herself by having power over male children for the eight days before circumcision and over female children for the first 20 days of life unless an amulet of the three angels sent to retrieve her was upon the child, in which case she would turn on and

kill her own children.


Lilith figures in Jewish folklore and superstition as an admonition to not sleep alone and to not be vain, as her children possess women who are vain as mirrors are the gateway into her world. Looking too much or too long into a mirror caused a woman to be promiscuous and wicked as they were the tools of Lilith. Men who slept alone or were unmarried were warned against noctural emissions as the semen contained the materials needed for her to create lilim. She became a succubus, bedding sleeping men and taking their lifeforce from them. She is forced to only procreate from onanism, unpartnered ejaculation and unwholeseome and loveless intercourse. She is the male complement of the whore, while for Eve, the children are human, being taken from Adam's rib and unnamed until she eats of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge, and her human children are conceived in submission. Modern pagans and Jewish women herald Lilith as a Goddess of feminine power and assertive, but dark sexuality. Many view her as the incarnation of the Shekinah, the feminine aspect of the Judeo-Christian Divine, the Judaic Queen of Heaven. In the mystical Kabbalah text, The Zohar Book, Lilith is not the Matronit, the queen, and rather is a "slave woman" and God is not King of the Universe until the Matronit herself is restored to him. In the Zohar, Lilith herself is blamed for Israel's historical plight and constant warfare with its geographic neighbors. Lilith is also portrayed as the serpent in many Renaissance works of art, including the Sistine Chapel, in which the serpent of the Fall is portrayed having a woman's head and torso. Many modern feminist scholars can overlook her infanticide in order to hold her up as a positive role model, so what is positive about Lilith as a concept and as a woman?


Lilith has been the dark muse to the Lilith Fair, a music festival which toured and brought a new awareness of womenlilith fair singer-songwriters and women's music to a largely female audience. The empowerment seen in the figure of Lilith was an inspiration to such performers as Sarah McLachlan, Sheryl Crow and the Indigo Girls. Lilith has also served to inspire art and creativity. The visual art gallery, the Lilith Gallery of Toronto is a gallery dedicated to feminist art and art by women artists and dealing with social and sexual issues pertaining to the female sex. George McDonald even wrote a romance about her in 1895. Lilith has been a figure in Pre-Raphealite art and poetry and is used by contemporary artists such as Lilian Broca and Richard Callner. Prints of a Lilith series by Jan Collins Selman reveal the dangerous allure of the seductive dark image of Lilith. Progressive bands such as the contemporary "The Legendary Pink Dots" sing about Lilith, writers such as Aleister Crowley and Dante Gabriel Rosetti devoted poems to her and on the internet many shrines exist.


Lilith the figure can certainly be seen positively as a woman who understood and demanded to be in control of her own sexuality. Even as a virgin, she refused to be meek and submissive to her partner. She was willing to argue with Adam and not accept everything eh said as the way it had to be. She also was willing to leave Paradise to be alone for what she felt was the right reasons and was not dependant on men or faith for her survival. Lilith is the first independent woman. Lilith is a mother, even if it is of demons, and she is oft-times portrayed as a single mother.  In many variations of her legend, she

becomes the wife of Sammael, the highest throne angel of God, "the chief of Satans", and simultaneously one of the angels who were cast out with Lucifer and who alternately is called "the severity of God" and who serves as the Angel of Death. Sammael is also according to legend the angel that held back Abraham's arm as he went to sacrifice Issac and alternatively the angel who seduced Eve. In many legends, Sammael is the father of her children. She becomes the wife of God's counterpart and highest tool of Divine Justice. She transcends being of the same Earth as Adam regardless of which myth one chooses or which they compile to create ones own individual interpretation of the Lilith tale. Who are whatever Lilith is to each person is personal, but in her, there is a bit of all of us, women who refuse to be lesser based on biology and in us, there is a bit of her defiance in all women who are not weak and who speak up for themselves. In all of us, there is something far older than Eve.

MILF is Nearly a Compliment

By: Pixie

How many of us in the adult entertainment industry are also mothers? Fact is, many of us are and not all of want to be labeled a MILF. When I modeled or Toxic Cherry, I was promoted as a MILF. I was not satisfied with being the Fetish MILF, though I do use that so people immediately realize I am mature and have a family as well as being a sexual being. It is part of my very identity to be a mother. It is part of my womanhood; the tummy pouch I have from having carried a human life for 8 months (my son was a preemie) is a badge of pride and honor to me. MILF is not exactly honoring a woman. It means we are attractive enough to simply fuck despite having had a human being pass through our birth canals. Whoopdeeuckingdoo. I would prefer to be a woman a man would want to fuck or even better, make love to, even if only in his masturbatory fantasies.

I did not model until after I became a mother even. The idea of being nude or even modeling in front of a camera before I was a mommy has unimaginable. It was just not in my mindscape until I joined the local BDSM TNG group and the page said their photographers were looking for models. I do not know what possessed me. I had a ten-month-old larval unit at home who was not even able to crawl at that age but I emailed the photogs as a dare to myself. I was suffering from post-baby body image depression. I was soft and round and I knew I was not model material in the slightest and I knew I had never modeled before so I had no idea what to do. My first shoot was disappointing although I got many cute images from it, it was not until my second shoot I disrobed and was myself as a real woman again. I had great curves, full breasts and soft curved hips. I was shot and the magic happened and my modeling hobby/career began right then. I lost my self-consciousness over the next few months and while I will still not do a spread as I prefer my labia minora to remain a mystery majora, as I say, I have no problem taking it all off and celebrating myself as a woman and as a living sculpture of the great mother.

I am a stay at home mom primarily. My day is filled with laundry, feeding the wild (now) preschooler, playing with Matchbox cars, educating the young mind to be an intelligent strong, well-mannered independent human being and then at the end of the day I escape the rut occasionally by becoming this powerful incredible woman who models for fine art and erotica and does fetish stuff on film and camera. My husband encourages me in my modeling and is my chaperone and chief boob adjuster even. I also have an incredibly hubby who cooks all our meals after he gets home from work so I am relieved of a lot of the pressures a lot of moms feel. I have a fabulous and handsome cheerleader in my hubby so I know how fortunate I am as he shares the load of parenting and I am only a solo parent for the week and on the weekend I am a co-parent.

I do have a couple fanboys, and I use that term with no disrespect, I appreciate their compliments and love the recognition. Ok so maybe they only like me for my tits or ass, but I do not even need them to like me. (Of course, I want them to like me and serve as muse and fantasy.) I model because on a good day, I really love myself and want to share me. I model to inspire other women to enjoy themselves. Motherhood and childrearing only make less of a sexual and powerful being only if the mother allows it to erode at their own sense of self and identity. They must take time to cultivate themselves and to make time with their partners, their friends and other like-minded folk to be a woman and not just the mom machine.

Sometimes I do get caught up in the mom machine wringer and I can now recognize the signs of burn out and take steps to avert it such as a hot bubble bath with the iPod on, making sure my child goes to bed and stays in bed at the same time every night so I have time to be me the person, not the parent. Make time to be a woman and our work in the adult industry is a great NECESSARY creative outlet that crayons and construction paper just does not provide (unless you are really awesome, in which case, you need to teach me how to make quality artistic erotica with kid arts and crafts supplies!). You have created a life as a mother, but you need to continue to create, both for yourself and to create yourself as more than a breeding mare. Woman is so much more than her biology and while the adult industry allows us to positively exploit and make use of what biology gave us as females, motherhood is not all that we are. We are not tits, asses and wombs, we are also people and artists and models and performers. We cannot forget that in the monotony of diapers and wiping baby butts.

Stardate 2358

By: TheHGW

Stardate 2358.42

Security Chief's Log

I really hate my job.  I had the strike team ready.  It was a standard low altitude combat drop.  We were supposed to go in three groups.  Lt. Shan, that magnificent blue skinned bastard, was going to hit with two crewmen to secure the mining platform.   Thirty seconds later Ensign Rand hits with his team to take out any resistance.  Then a minute after Shan hits, Chief Talok and his engineers arrive with the charges.  All nine then dive off twenty seconds later and the platform explodes and we beam the lot out of there in free fall.

It's not a complicated operation.  Those men have done this in their sleep.  We've trained, and practiced and we've prepared for a low altitude drop several times.  So why in the hell did the Captain decide to walk right by us and decide to take the helmsman, chief engineer and some cadet who's not even supposed to be on this ship in the first place!  Come on Cap, that's like giving the handoff to the punter!  We are paying these guys to be the meanest, nastiest bastards in the fleet and you pick three noncoms?  How'd that op go for ya Cap?  Oh yeah, they blew up the planet.  Chief Talok wants me to express his most sincere and logical rude gesture.


Stardate 2358.42

Security Chief's Addendum

So the acting captain wanted to save the High Council.  No problem, I buzzed Lt. Krendall and told her to get her Search and Rescue crew to the transporter pad.  Simple operation, ten man crew beams down to recover the target.  Three stay outside the cave and set up a transporter booster.  Five set up force fields in the cave itself to prevent the cave from squashing any of the high council.  Krendall and Chief Sorot use the map from the Ship's Computer to get to the target and extract them.  Two minutes in and out.  Just like a dozen other rescues in the last few months.

But no!  Acting Captain abandons his post, leaves Krendall waiting outside the transporter room with her crew.  Captain beams down, gets bunches of the High Council killed by not establishing a force field securing the structure, ignores protocol by not establishing a safe extraction site, and in the process gets his mom killed.  Great job acting Captain.  I've already sent off a recommendation for Court Martial for him completely leaving the ship.


Stardate 2358.43

Security Chief's Log

Starfleet is reviewing the Court Martial I asked for.  Meaning it will be a few months before they look.  I've added another charge, the Acting Captain had that uppity cadet blown out of a escape pod for insubordination.  Now call me old fashioned, but the traditional punishment for that charge is to throw them in the brig.  And I've got a lovely brig that could hold a dozen Klingons on PCP.  This command crew is a nut house.  They've got cadets running everything, seasoned officers being replaced at the whim of incompetents, and nobody's following the regs.


Stardate 2358.44

Our Acting Captain had a meltdown on that uppity Ensign that's been causing so much trouble.  The kid got back on the ship via a transporter and confronted the Acting Captain on the bridge.  Our Acting Captain assaulted the Ensign in front of the entire bridge crew and then relinquished command.  That Ensign then assumed command.

Now maybe my math is off, but there are 430 crewmen on this ship.  That makes for 37 officers, minus our MIA Captain, our dead Chief Engineer and our Science Officer that just wrote himself a Section 8.  I'm only a Lt. Commander, seventh in the chain of command for this starship, but I think I outrank the Ensign.  Even taking the staff officers out of the mix, that still leaves 22 officers that stand between this kid and that chair.  But the bridge crew is backing him.  This ship is an asylum being run by the inmates.


Stardate 2358.45

We tracked down the rogue ship that destroyed Vulcan.  I organized a rescue party for Captain Pike, brought up two squads of my best men.  Lt. Shan was leading the first team, Chief N'Tal was bringing up the second squad.  I don't know why that Nausicaan decided to join Starfleet, but I found uses for him.  He's not good for much more than fighting, but he is REALLY good at fighting.  Straight up plan was to beam two teams of ten onto the rogue ship.  The ship isn't crewed by many according to scans and a quick and focused strike by a dedicated military force should quickly overwhelm it.


Stardate 2358.46

Starfleet turned down all my Court Martial requests, no reason was given.  I turned in my resignation.  This ship has 430 crewmembers but only the officers do anything.  One day they are going to beam down into a death trap and then we'll be lost.  The new Captain looks like he is going to get a good number of my men killed.  So I've taken another job offer.  Some guy named Vader promised me action, so I took his offer.  Just wonder how I will in white.

The Intelligent Woman's Thumbnail Guide to Polyamory

By: Pixie

Love may mean having to say you are sorry, but it should not mean saying sorry in every other sentence or before you even say something such as in "I'm sorry, but I feel..."

Love does not mean having to feel sorry and bad all the time for inadequacies, real or imagined.

Love should never make you feel guilty or small or pathethic because you are not made to order.

A person should not be asked to compromise on things that go against their very nature.

Never take away a partners right to bitch and complain about their job or responsiblities. If you do not want to hear it, tune it out, but do not tell them you do not want to hear it and to not mention those things to them.

Love, romance, and intimacy are only a small part of a full and complete healthy life.

A person should never, and cannot, expect another person to meet all their needs. Some needs must be sublimated or lived without having them met and a person can still be happy without some things or certain needs being met.

If sex and/or constant daily physically intimacy is a top need not met in polyamory or in any relationship, consider investing in a box of Kleenex, some lotion or a vibrator. Also suggested is therapy.

I am not demonstrative enough, I do not give warm fuzzies and pats on the head to others who are not Zwerg, and I am not affectionate or passionate. However, I am all of those things when I choose to be, trust someone, and am secure. To expect me to be those things on a daily basis is not natural for me and goes against my nature. I am confident and secure in most of my social and personal relationships and do not need daily reassurances and signs.

Repeated gifts and cards and such soon become meaningless gestures to me and not something I always acknowledge after a while. Too many little things is too much for me.

I would rather be loved a little bit for a long time than be the great passion of someones life. I already have found and am with the love of my life. I do not want to be anyone others primary partner or their great love. I do burn out when under such a spotlite and under such intense heat.

There are always primaries in polyamory (for me, at least). There will always be someone held above and beyond all others, valued more, trusted wholly, and who is a priority. People are individuals and therefore not interchangable in any manner or way. It *does* matter *who*.

There is a choreography to polyamory and not everyone knows the steps and some people can't dance. I may be unable to dance well, but I do not poach others partners and am not constantly cutting in.

If someone else, who is not your primary, is the proclaimed love of your life, you are doing a disservice to and being unkind to your primary.It is not right.

You must be secure in your own relationship and it must be able to stand alone and be satisfying in and of itself. If a weak relationship enters polyamory, it is a great sorrow and not right. Someone will be in tears, usually the stronger relationship as they are carrying the emotional and energy weight of a solo person who seeks something in the polyamorous relationship that is not met in their primary one.

You cannot be all things to all people even half the time without eroding yourself to some degree.

There cannot be a quad relationship with three people and someone else. Everyone deserves better than that if they are putting the effort into the relationship.

If there is a married couple or children belonging to parents in a poly relationship- that is sacred and off-limits to interfere in, the children and the marriage will be first always.

Sometimes saying you've changed is not enough, sometimes even changing is not enough.

(c) 2006 Pixie Bruner

The Story of Lucky: A Warhammer Fantasy Story

By: Tertius Ramone

I first got my hand on 'Lucky' my dwarf cannon about 2 years ago at the release of Battle for Skull Pass in my local GW. It was one of two that I got because of the official swap allowed on that day. I was never much into dwarves but decided what the hell, there's a decent moderately cheep army worth of em goin' I may aswell. Besides I needed the new rulebook anyway. There was a cosplay competition on the day too and for my costume as a Wood Elf I won myself a battalion of dwarves (I know, the irony right?) and so that settled it, I was doing an army of the short gits.

Thanks to the free battalion I now had three canons in my army and was starting to play some games with mixed success. One particular canon, soon to be dubbed 'Lucky' was the first and at the time only one I had painted. For my first few games my canons did nothing as I got to grips with guessing ranges. Eventually however I started to get them right and my canons started to do some damage to my oponents, well ... two of them did. No matter how good I got a guessing ranges, 'Lucky' never had any effect.

If I guessed the range pin-point you could be fairly certain 'Lucky' would end up with a 10 on the artillery dice and overshoot the target. Or if it didn't overshoot it would fail to bounce the shot and he canonball would simply lodge in the ground directly in fron of some very relieve looking enemy troops. Better still 'Lucky' would misfire. Now the important thing to note is that 'Lucky' would never ever explode from a misfire, it would only ever end up unable to fire for the next turn or this turn. 'Lucky' was consistantly anything but. I still used it though, in ever single game. It had such character by now, I could imagine the dwarf crew thumping it with wrenches and hammers trying to get it to work right for once but never quite succeding.

Soon enough I was forced to add some slayers and a dragonslayer to my army. The reason was this: The engineer who crafted 'Lucky' in the first place must clearly have become a slayer. If ever there was a reason to take the slayer oath it would be for having been responsible for bringing 'Lucky' into this world; probably the worst canon in the world. Time went on and 'Lucky' finally began to rack up some kills alongside its two brothers, if only those kills had been from my opponents force and not mine. Now we come to the end of the tale of 'Lucky' for my friends, 'Lucky' is no more! 'Lucky' is in fact unbelievably lucky that the little canon has gone and inexplicably gotten itself lost. Its crew remain, sitting in my figures case with nothing to do. I do have plans to get a replacement in the near future though, the name 'Lucky Number 2' has a certain ring to it don't you think?

Warehouse 13, Not Exactly A Garage Sale

by: MaGnUs

Warehouse 13, Not Exactly A Garage Sale.

The title is pretty suggestive, isn't it? That's what I thought when I first heard it; and when I read the premise, I was pretty much hooked. It's well-written, has good acting, and it's been very carefully produced, with almost every little detail looked after. Why should you watch this show? Well, all of the above are good enough reasons, but let me go into it in more depth.

The show is an original SyFy (the horrible new name for the former "Sci Fi Channel") production, debuting on July 7, 2009 on that network; for an initial run of thirteen episodes. It was created by Jane Espenson (writer for Buffy and Battlestar Galactica, and writer and showrunner for the upcoming BSG spin-off, Caprica) and D. Brent Mote (who was no previous relevant credits), and it's executive produced by Jack Kenny (co-creator of Titus, and creator of The Book Of Daniel). Writers in the show include Mote, Espenson and Kelly themselves, as well as a wide array of talent like Rockne S. O'Bannon (creator of Farscape), Drew Z. Greenberg (Buffy, Smallville, The O.C., Dexter), Tamara Beecher (script coordinator for shows like Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles, Wonderfalls, and Buffy), as well as comic book writer Ben Raab (The Phantom, Excalibur, Green Lantern).

The series follows two agents from the United States Secret Service, the by-the-book Myka Bering (Joanne Kelly) and the maverick (who relies on hunches and "feelings") Pete Lattimer (Eddie McClintock), who are reassigned to a special operation based out of "Warehouse 13", after showing special temple in the face of abnormal circumstances. The Warehouse is lead by the mysterious Mrs. Fredericks, and ran in-site by veteran agent Arthur Nielsen, who's an expert on the matter that concerns the organization: paranormal artifacts.

Nestled within the folds of government bureaucracy, the Warehouse has existed for a long time, and its existence is known by a select few. It exists to contain objects with special properties that endanger or could potentially endanger innocents, with very few of those artifacts being considered safe enough to be used by Warehouse agents in their missions. With Artie as a researcher and controller, Bering and Lattimer act as field agents, investigating reports of possible objects and recovering and containing them.

The show has thematic similarities in common both with The X-Files and Friday The 13th: The Series, with mood and aesthetics sharing elements with Moonlighting, Indiana Jones, and the pulp and steampunk genres in general. Contrary to the X-Files, however, the mood of the show is much more lighthearted, and while there is elements of conspiracy, they are downplayed in comparison with the Chris Carter series. Some reviewers have outright accused "borrowing too much" from the Friday The 13th series; but the tone, mood, and the nature of the artifacts (all artifacts in the latter show are cursed, while some in Warehouse 13 can be beneficial in the right hands, and cause no ill effects to the user) set the shows apart.

Besides the obvious pulp/steampunk/weird science vibe; the show has elements of investigative procedural dramas that might appeal to viewers of those shows. The greatest strength, what separates it from other similar shows is the acting, or rather the casting choices and the chemistry between the actors. It's not that the acting is great; it's good, but not overly so. However, the right people for each part were chosen, and coupled with the writing, you believe they are real people when they interact. You can relate to each character on some level, and the diverse and detailed personalities and character types allow more viewers to find a character they can identify with.

Geeks like me immediately relate to Artie and his technical acumen. Guys who don't think of themselves as geeks will surely see something of themselves in Artie; and Myka is a good role model for strong women who have a difficult relationship with their fathers. The latest addition to the cast, Claudia, provides a great mirror for free-spirited girls who like both science fiction and need good characters they can relate too. We know how scarce good characters like that are in scifi and related genres.

What about other things, like visual effects, music, or the title sequence? The visual effects are TV issue; of course; and you can tell when they show some of the big machinery in the warehouse, when it's an entirely CGI shot (or close enough). However, when its small effects, like the workings of an artifact, the quality is excellent. The music is a perfect mix of an original score by Edward Rogers with music from current artists like Rihanna and Puscifer; as well as older (or more classic) music like Jefferson Airplane or Gloria Gaynor.

Then there's the title sequence; a well-executed clip of the theme by Rogers (and, according to some sources, Vivek Maddala), with shots of different artifacts that have been seen in the show, or might be seen in future episodes.

Speaking of artifacts, there's something for everybody. From completely fictitious objects such as the Tesla (the electric gun supposedly developed by my favorite scientist), or the Farnsworth (an audiovisual communicator purportedly built by the inventor of television), which are rooted in real world people or events; to objects that are (or could be) perfectly real but have been imbued by fantastic capabilities (such as the lightshow producing Studio 54 disco ball; or Alice Lyddel's mirror); to completely made up artifacts like "The Saracen's Spine" (an alchemical device created in the Crusades that attaches itself to a host's body and burns it up to generate dangerous electrical attacks).

I love the artifacts, and I can't wait to see what new gadgets they come up with each episode. And let me mention

I know this is a pretty slanted review; that I like the show too much; at least I can admit that much. Maybe it's not even a review, but more like a gospel, preaching to my fellow geeks to join in on the fun. I can, however, find a few flaws, if minor ones. First of all, the short season makes for a somewhat rushed plot. If it wasn't for the good casting; acting and writing, it could have been too short a season to actually care about the characters. I've seen things like that happen in some shows... even in some with seasons with twenty or more episodes.

A second flaw is that the plot is... slightly predictable, so to speak. That's not necessarily a bad thing; I believe. The strength in the writing is in the execution of the plots, in the interaction between characters. The last minor flaw is in the season finale episode, small details in the writing. Some of the plot devices that are used to make the villains gain the upper hand (for the obligatory cliffhanger) leave the main characters looking a bit more clueless than they should be. But not all can be perfect; if anything, it's the mark of a new show trying to find its feet.

Not only it's a success among fans; it's also a verified ratings success. It averaged more than four million total viewers per episode; including more than two millions adults between the ages of 25 and 54; and almost two million and a half household viewers. It's achieved the status of SyFy's most successful series in the seventeen years of history of the network. It toppled Battlestar Galactica's mark set in its debut season (just over two million viewers), while bettering the three million total viewers record established by Eureka's freshman season in 2008-09.

Not only it beat SyFy's previous shows; it topped new series in other channels such as TNT's Hawthorne and Dark Blue, Lifetime's Drop Dead Dive; finishing second in new series only behind USA's Royal Pains. Warehouse 13 comprises one of the top 10 most-watched SyFy series telecasts ever; including the top three showings in network history. As an additional piece of information, it also has an approximately even viewership division between genders; possibly because of the good female characters mentioned before.

What more can I say? Go watch it; it's a short season, and it won't take you long to catch up. Of course, Dollhouse, The Big Bang Theory and others have started again; and Stargate Universe has just started... but I'm rambling. Warehouse 13 rules, and that is a scientific fact.

 

About The Author: Martín A. Pérez (AKA MaGnUs) writes short stories, articles, comics and radio plays. One of his short stories has been published in the book Contagion: War Stories, and an essay of his appears in "Teenagers from the Future: Essays on the Legion of Super-Heroes.". His articles have appeared online or in print magazines like Inforol, Ururol, Kryptonian Cybernet, and Strange Days, while he's currently writing for the Independent Comics Site, Shotgun Reviews and Nosolorol.

He co-produces and co-hosts a radio show about comics and related subjects, Perdidos en el Eter. An active part of Uruguay's fan scene, he's one of the creators of Montevideo Comics, the first local convention (since 2002), and one of the founders of Caballeros de Montevideo, which promotes RPGs through charity events. MaGnUs works at a tech-support call center, and is happily married to his wife Cindy, with whom he has a son, Gabriel, who ever since his birth has been marked to become yet another nerd... just like daddy!