Mandarin? No thanks.

"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." Clarke's Third Law.

Sharing an interesting discussion about Iron Man 2 with some friends at some boards, I ended up realizing that I don't think the Mandarin would be a good choice as the villain for the third movie starring the Golden Avenger.

The Mandarin is an excellent idea for a behind the scenes, shadowy master, in fact, I thought it weird that the second movie didn't make any reference to him (while they did in the first one)... but as a villain in a medium other than comics, for a hero with a sci-fi flavor like Iron Man, he'll look ridiculous. Iron Man looks better when he faces technological-based enemies... and while the Mandarin uses alien technology, it looks like magic.

A friend of mine says the Mandarin is "widely clamored" for as a villain for the third movie. Truth be told, I participate in a lot of boards and other digital environments where there are lots of people who enjoy these movies. Not just comic book fans specifically, but people generally interested in this kind of fiction. However, I haven't seen anyone demand the Mandarin is next movie's villain... obviously some people have, but I haven't seen it.

In fact, I haven't even seen people other than my friend comment on other people asking for the Mandarin. This is why I think that the amount of people in the web asking for him is not really big. And if it's not big within that "vocal minority", it's even smaller amongst the general public. Even if I don't want him in the next movie, nor do the people I regularly talk to, it seems strange that I wouldn't even hear a rumor about it other than from my friend. I mean, like I said before, I frequent a lot of boards and other outlets, and I spend over twelve hours on the computer.

Concerning the Mandarin as a feasible or desirable villain for an Iron Man movie, I strongly believe that he's not a good choice at all. Like all Iron Man villains, he's a virtual unknown... Iron Man himself was pretty much a non-entity for the public at large until the first movie, his mainstream popularity was never close to that of Spider-Man or Hulk, to mention other Marvel characters. Some people remember the nineties Iron Man cartoon, yes, that's true, but... how many remember that the Mandarin's powers weren't magical? If you remember, it's probably due to one or both of these reasons: 1) You like Iron Man and you paid special attention to his show. 2) You're very fond of animation, and pay special attention to any animated series you watch.

I can assure you that even the most stalwart comic book reader (except for Iron Man fans specifically) like me have to think a little to remember that the Mandarin uses alien tech. And if people like me (for all my flaws as a person, I know a lot about superhero comics) have to think... imagine the 99.9% of the public that goes to see an Iron Man film. Only a 5% of that people saw his cartoon, and you'll be lucky if a tenth of that 5% remembers that the Mandarin's powers were technological in nature.

In fact, now that I check, the Mandarin in the animated series only has the name and the alien rings in common with the comic book one. Besides that, he's different person, with ill-defined powers assigned to the rings, and with very different origins and motivations. You can say that all of this is about the comics, and not about the movies, and that the Mandarin is still a good villain for a movie. And I say that, precisely because these are movies, is that the Mandarin is not a good villain.

The central themes in Iron Man are man and machine, good and evil use of technology, the triumph of the inventor/benevolent industrialist over the industrialist/businessman that makes weapons of war. And what is the physical, tangible object of these themes? The machine. Not technology, because technology in itself is too unspecific a term, technology is anything from a tank, to a ballpoint pen, to alien energy manipulating rings.

No, the central point to all this is THE MACHINE. The machine as a tangible and solid application of technology, the machine as an object clearly present in people's live, that changes their existence, for good or for ill. And the Mandarin doesn't have machines, the Mandarin wears bijou that shoots rays. Party favors that disintegrate people.

What the hell does all this have to do with the medium being comics or movies? That, excepting nerds (and we are a small percentage), most people watching a Hollywood film needs things explained clearly, spelled out. At most, they'll use three or five minutes to explain that the Mandarin uses alien tech, and for the other two hours of film, you'll see a Chinese guy with rings that shoot rays. (If you're lucky, because if they go the animated series way, you'll have a green-skinned US citizen with pointy ears.)

Mentioning in passing that the rings are alien technology will not be enough to avoid that a very high percentage of moviegoers (including non-specialized film critics) will exit the theater complaining that the third Iron Man movie was crap because Iron Man fought some Asian guy with magic rings he got from dragons. Oh, yes, because the aliens whose technology the Mandarin's rings are based on, the Makluan, are giant dragons... if they even show that briefly in the film, it'll make it even worse.

There's just not enough time to conceptually justify something as technological when, visually, it's a guy with magic rings. And even if you used half an hour of screen time to explain this, or you reminded it in expository dialogue every fifteen minutes, it'd be useless. People in general don't pay attention to this kind of stuff, and they'll leave the cinema saying that Iron Man fought a guy with magic rings... just like in Lord of the Rings!!!

Think I'm exaggerating? Well, I've heard lot of people say that "they like Iron Man because they love robots", when Tony Stark shows his face every fifteen minutes in the movie, removes his helmet, takes of the armor and puts it back on again. People see a humanoid metal figure and think "robot". People see a guy with rings that shoot energy and think "magic". Even surrounded by aliens and spaceships, and not being a Chinese man in ancient armor, it's possible that not even Green Lantern might avoid being branded as a guy with a magic ring when his movie opens next year. It's the same people that think Star Wars is "in the future" and "on Earth", when each of the six films starts with the phrase "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away..." Even a high number of self-proclaimed nerds think Star Wars is in the future (which is not the same as being futuristic).

And if Jon Favreau, director of the Iron Man saga, wanted to use the Mandarin as Tony's archenemy, he fucked up. Why? Because in the first movie he named Tony's captors "The Ten Rings", and every nerd said "Oh, he's preparing the sequel". Was the Mandarin in the sequel? No, not even a small reference, not even a mention of the terrorist group that kidnapped Tony in the first film.

He fucked up, because if the Mandarin shows up in the third movie, even if they spend ten minutes explaining he was the leader of the terrorists, he'll still be a Chinese guy with ray-shooting rings, and people will be wondering what does this guy with magical jewelry has to do with the red and yellow robot good guy of the film.

Now, if the Mandarin ends up being the villain in the next Iron Man movie, don't come to me. I said I don't think he's the best choice. A vodka tonic, please... put it in Mr. Stark's tab.

MaGnUs