Chronicles of Faerun

Book I: Gold and Grey

The Halls of the Lady’s College were closed, and empty now, except for the servants moving to clean up the bits of food, plates and utensils from the graduation ceremony.  Anastrianna Xiloscient stood for a moment at the main door, looking back at where she had spent the last six years of her life.  First in all classes, first in all tests, the young Sun Elf female had made few friends – her closest had dropped out of the college, angry and embittered.  Stri, as the humans called her, unable to pronounce her name correctly, was saddened to go.  She could stay on – had been offered a post as an assistant, but she was ready to take up her family’s constant quest – unite the good, and destroy the evil races of Faerun.  This was why her parents ignored the retreat – a belief in unity.     She turned away, and began walking to her home, an intricate rose-colored rock formation that rested at the base of a huge oak tree.  A family of half-wood elves lived above on excellent terms, and below the large rose rock, a dwarven smith had made a home many years ago, in some small caves – she and her family got along very well with him, too.  That was the way of Silverymoon, known by many as the “Jewel of the North.”  Why then, she thought, were wizards so jealous?  The reaction to her, an elf, taking firsts in all had been silly, in her mind.  The males wanted to marry her, the females wanted to show her up and get her dismissed.  Only Shandri, the friend who had dropped out, hadn’t cared who was first – and most times while she’d attended it was Shandri taking all the honors.  Stri’s thoughts ran along these lines as she walked through the cool late spring/early summer weather of the North.  She turned up the small path to her home and entered.     Her mother and father had left for a meeting in Evermeet.  They were due to return this evening, via a highly secret portal known only to them and, of course, the Lady Alustriel and Taern.  Stri would be leaving as soon as a method presented itself – her parents understood that.  While she was still young (only 116), it was felt she was ready to adventure, as humans called it.  She and her family called it, in Chondathan, “crusading.”  She went to her bedroom, took off her graduation robes – a very becoming cloth-of-silver set that complemented her features and made her look like a sculpture in gold and silver – and set down before a mirror.

Golden eyes stared back at her from a delicately featured face.  Fine golden hair ran in waves to her waist, with no contrast to the perfect golden bronze color of her skin.  She had inherited all of her family traits, as befits one of noble heritage.  She went over to the wardrobe and started packing – traveling robes of soft light blue wool, a sturdy pair of boots, a long cloak with a hood, of wool lined with silk, and the color of a clear blue sky.  Some long “battle skirts” as they were called – slit high to allow freedom of movement, some white silk shirts, and her belt pouches, crammed full with components for the spells in her book, plus an empty pouch and blank book for anything else she might find along the way.  As she was finishing putting these things away in her backpack – actually a magical item that held far more than it appeared, a knock sounded at the door.  She went to answer it.

The girl standing in front was no stranger – Shandri Greycastle was, as has been said, her best friend, and had remained so even after leaving the college.  Shandri was tall for a human female – she matched Stri’s 5’11”, and by their builds one would have thought them sisters.  The resemblance ended quickly, for while Shandri’s features were delicate, and in them most thought they saw a half-elven grandmother, Shandri’s hair was a deep auburn, almost black, her eyes a deep midnight blue, and her skin a smooth, unblemished white.  She was dressed as she always was – ready to leave at any moment – in black soft leather pants, high black leather boots, a grey silk blouse, a soft black leather coat, and a long, grey, hooded cloak of wool.  She had been approached, as had Stri, by most of the students, asking the two to become their lovers.  She had also been envied at first – in knowledge classes, alchemy and spellcraft her knowledge was greater than Stri’s.  The tests, however, had killed her, and one in particular – the casting of a simple light spell.  It was known that Shandri was a sorceress, not a wizard, and as such might not be able to cast the spell, so a wand was provided in accordance with the tolerance policy set by Lady Alustriel.  Shandri simply could not make the wand work, and no one, even after interviews with the High Lady, could figure out why.  She had been failed, that time and others, unable to complete examinations, though all who watched her knew she had power and had the knowledge.  In her fourth year, at the age of 15, Shandri had told all of them to go to the Abyss, cast a spell that enveloped a particularly jealous and too-friendly male in shadows, making him blind, and stormed off, back to her home in Everlund.  It took Alustriel herself to dismiss the spell, something which surprised the masters and made them all scurry about, trying to find out why her spells were so persistent.  The two of them, Stri and Shandri, had been bound by the bond of the firsts – together they could handle the jealousy and pettiness of the others.  When Shandri had left, Stri had felt alone.

“Graduated First I heard, Anastrianna – congratulations!”  Shandri smiled at her.

“Thank you, Shandri.  I’m glad you showed up today. I thought you’d forgotten when you didn’t come to the graduation.”

“I didn’t want to see ‘Groper’ again – he might have groped again, or even attacked me after that little incident when I left.  Best to let him go on his pathetic little way.”

“Did you know he didn’t leave me alone for the rest of my studies – he was always there, trying to grope and asking me to dine with him and such.  I think he needs to worry more about his studies – he was nearly last in our class.”

Shandri laughed.

“That doesn’t surprise me in the slightest – he’s much more suited to be an adept than a wizard, but not to hear him talk.”

“Very true.  Well, are we still agreed?  The two of us out to see the world?  We’ll have to find some way of getting somewhere, unless you want to stay in Silverymoon and roam from here.”

“Of course we’re agreed, Stri – but we’ll need to find at least one fighter, and preferably a cleric and rogue as well.  I know you have some training with a rapier, and I can use a shortspear, but neither of us will last long without someone sturdy in front.”

“That’s very true as well.  My parents had suggested we might try to hire on as caravan guards – there will be quite a few leaving for the south now that the spring thaw is here.”

“And that would be an excellent opportunity – not only to travel safely, but to maybe pick up a little coin along the way, and meet a companion.”  Shandri looked thoughtful for a moment, then continued.

“I think that’s a good idea.  How about finding one heading to the Dalelands?  Shieldmeet’s this year, and there’s supposed to be all kinds of adventurers there looking for people to join a company?”

Stri nodded.

“The Dalelands would indeed be a good place to start – there or in Cormyr adventurers, as you call them, are well received and we would have a solid base of support to start from.  Let me finish packing and we’ll be on our way.  Have you brought everything you wanted to take?  You look like you’re traveling a little light.”

Shandri laughed.

“My backpack is outside, with my shortspear and crossbow.  Father wanted to buy me a full outfit, including some wands and potions, but after the experience at school I told him not to waste his money, in case it turns out I can’t use them.”

Stri continued to add little items to her pack – a silver comb and brush, a small mirror, a length of silk rope, her two spellbooks, several different sets of clothes, a few day’s trail rations, a flask of elven wine, and finally, in a side pouch, an extra quiver of arrows for her bow.  She looked up at Shandri.

“I’ve still got room in here – if you have anything really heavy I’ll carry it in here for you – the whole thing still only weighs five pounds.”

“I’ve got all my stuff squared away, and I think I need to work on my strength anyway.  Use the extra space for treasure we might find.”

“Then let’s go.”

Stri made sure the farewell note to her parents was easily found – through trance she could find them if she needed them, anyway.  Then she belted on her rapier, slung her pack over her shoulder, put her shortbow in its case on the other side as balance, added a dagger to her belt, and picked up her staff.  She followed Shandri out, turned and locked the door.  Shandri was putting on her own pack, slinging her crossbow over her shoulder and grabbing her shortspear.  The dwarven smith, Tadregar, was sitting on his front porch.  He looked at the two as they started to pass.

“Off ta find fortune lassies?”

“Yes Tad,” Stri replied, “the sooner the better.”

“Good luck to ye.  May Moraddin smile upon ye, and all those gods what be allied fer justice.  If ye thinks ye could stand a dwarf as companion, ye might look at the coster – a caravan just came in from the Rift, through the underdark.  They’ll be gold dwarves now, not surly fellers like me!”  He laughed.

Shandri and Stri laughed with him.

“Thank you Tad.  That’s an excellent idea.  Thanks for it, for the rapier you made for me, and for the friendship you’ve shown.”  Stri hugged the dwarf, amid a few grumbles of surprise.

“That be yer goddess a speaking.  Methinks ye might have made a fine cleric had ye so chosen.”

“Hanali Celanil values all things of beauty – and friendship is a beautiful thing indeed.”  Stri smiled, waved, and passed down the street, with Shandri following.

The Coster was a large area where all of Silverymoon’s trading costers had their headquarters.  There was indeed a dwarven caravan there, still unloading from the funny carts (pulled by giant lizards) that the dwarves used.  The two girls looked at the dwarves scurrying about their tasks.  None seemed likely candidates for an adventure.  Until, just as they were about to give up, they saw one come out of the building.  He was a big dwarf, with a dwarven waraxe and a heavy mace at his side.  His heavy chain armor and shield made him out a warrior, or fighter.  He turned on the steps of the building and said to another dwarf who had come out with him.

“We’ll I’ll be off now.  Tis time to do me duty and crush some enemies of the beard.”

“As you wish,” the other dwarf replied, “We’ll miss yer company, Tenbar.  And don’t forget yer a cleric and priest of Clangeddin – though yer kind seldom remembers.”

The other dwarf simply grunted and started towards the caravan master’s booth.  Shandri nudged Stri and the two of them followed.  Both were aware of the stares from the humans in the booth – the same stares they always got.  Stri seemed to take such things for granted, as if she deserved them and it was the natural way of things.  Shandri quickly grew angered by it – anger perhaps made worse when, trying to find work, a test would be given which she could not pass – “Cast me a light spell,” or “Let’s see your Magic Missile take out that target.”  Always she would be offered the job on condition – that condition being a relationship with her employer.  Always she refused, generally casting a spell she was very good at – sleep – and leaving quickly.  It would be nice to work with a dwarf, who, she felt, would not be interested in what she looked like.

Stri ignored the stares from the men, merely smiling back and nodding pleasantly.  She listened to the dwarf arguing with a master about working passage south to Shieldmeet.  So the dwarf was going where they wished!  A good stroke of luck.  The dwarf was saying to the master that he was an accomplished cleric and warrior, who could heal and fight and protect.  The master was telling the dwarf he had no need of a cleric at present, but needed a good wizard to complement the main practitioner of the Art already signed on.  Stri looked to Shandri and noticed that she had been listening.  “Best let her deal with the master, she’s so much better with people than I am,” she thought.

Shandri knew that look – the two had been close for so long sometimes they felt they could read each other’s minds.  She sighed and approached the master.

“Did you say you had need of practitioner’s of the Art?”

The man looked her up and down, and obviously quickly forgot about the dwarf.

“Most certainly lass.  Caleb, our wizard, feels he could use one or two others to assist him.”

“My name is Shandri Greycastle – this is my good friend Anastrianna Xiloscient.  We are two practitioners of the Art, looking to travel to Shieldmeet with a caravan.”

The master’s eyes nearly popped out of his head as he looked Stri up and down.

“I see no reason at all why Caleb would object – I’ll let you talk to him, as he will have the final say.”  The man turned to lead them away, when Shandri broke in.

“I would of course, think it a personal favor if you would allow this good dwarf to accompany us – one can never have too many healers, you know.”  She turned her head slightly as she said this, her hair falling slightly across one eye.  She noticed the usual effect this gesture had – the man became almost a babbling idiot.

“Of course, most certainly, most certainly – you are hired dwarf – the caravan is at stand number ten.”  The man didn’t even look at the dwarf, just letting his eyes travel up and down Shandri.  She simply smiled at him.

“We’ll be over to talk to Caleb in a moment, good sir.  I wish to speak with our healer.”  She turned and looked at the dwarf.  He was staring open-mouthed, but not in the same way as the master.

“Well, thank’e lass.  T’will be a pleasure ta have yer company on the journ.  Me name’s Tenbar Ironbrow, from Eartheart in the Rift.  Priest of Clangeddin Silverbeard at yer service.”  He bowed.

“I’m Shandri Greycastle, from Everlund, this is Anastrianna Xiloscient, from Silverymoon.  We are both practitioner’s of the Art, though I am a sorcerer while Anastrianna is a wizard.”  Both of the girls bowed slightly as well.

“Anast.. Umm, pardon lass, but what do the humans call ye?  Yer name’s a bit much for me tongue – no offense.”

Stri laughed, “Stri Goldpetal, Tenbar.  And no offense is taken – Shandri is the only non-elf I’ve ever met who can pronounce my name properly.”

“Shall we go and meet this Caleb?  I believe the caravan leaves today, does it not?” Shandri looked at the master, who was still staring.  He nodded.  Shandri decided to play a bit – why not?  “Too bad, I’m certain you have all sorts of interesting stories you could have told a young adventurer like myself.”  She winked at him.  He simply continued to stare, but nodded vigorously.  She turned and set off with Stri and Tenbar toward the staging area.

“Methinks ye got a little mean streak in ye, lass – the poor man’s a gonna be standin there fer the rest of the day.”

“Perhaps, but I get really tired of being looked at all the time like I’m someone’s harem slave.”

“Oh pooh, Shandri.  Just let it flow off you – I get it all the time.  Hanali teaches that beauty is to be admired in all it’s forms – and you are most certainly beautiful.  It doesn’t hurt to let them admire you.”

“No, but it hurts to be accepted only because they want you.”

Stri fell silent, and Tenbar, sensing that this was a sore point with Shandri, started to talk about himself.

“If’n were ta be travelin together, ye’d best know a little about me.  I’m the eldest son of me father – all of me family are priests, and me father’s got a chance at bein made the High Priest o’ Clangeddin.  Ye may have ta knock me on me head in battle – I sometimes forget I’m a cleric, and not a fighter.  Tis the way o’ the Beard, I guess.  Just finished a three month trip through the Underdark, bringin some fine mail and arms ta sell hereabouts.  Hope I never have ta do that again – saw enough aberrations below to curdle the milk of a gorgon.  At least I learned about the hazards below – slimes, oozes and them such things.  Guess we got lucky in that we didn’t meet no drow.  Twould have been a massacre – for them!”  He laughed boisterously, and both girls smiled.  By this time they reached the caravan, and went up to a wagon with a wizard’s mark on the side.  A tall, elderly man was sitting on a barrel, watching them approach.

“Are you Caleb?”  Shandri asked, when they were close enough.

“That’s me, and that is I.”

“My name is Shandri Greycastle, Sorcerer of Everlund.  This is Anastrianna Xiloscient, Wizard of Silverymoon, and Tenbar Ironbrow, Priest of the Rift.  Stri and I understand from the master you are looking for a couple of less experienced Art users to assist you.”

“Yes.”

“We were hoping to get the job.”  Shandri was a little puzzled, but grateful at the same time, by the wizard’s manner.  He was looking at her and Stri, but not in the normal way – he seemed to be appraising their abilities.  He took the pipe out of his mouth.

“Damage that sign.”  He pointed at the sign saying “Staging Area 10.”

Stri nodded, and hit the sign with a magic missile – her color being golden.  A large chunk of it flew off into the air.  Shandri looked at Caleb and shrugged.

“I can’t, it needs to be living.”  She prepared herself for the inevitable rejection.

Caleb began casting a spell – both Shandri and Stri recognized it as Detect Magic.  He then cast one they couldn’t identify, and looked Shandri over thoroughly again.

“Most intriguingly odd.  Hold on one moment.”  He called one of the caravan hands over, then looked at Shandri.  “Do whatever you do to him – before he runs away – and try not to hurt him permanently.”

The hand looked panicked and started to flee.  Shandri cast the first spell that came to mind – color spray.  It was one she had just discovered recently.  If the hand hadn’t looked back just as the fan of light hit him, probably nothing would have happened.  As it was he screamed, stumbled and fell to the ground.  Tenbar rushed over to see if he was okay.

“Out totally – but not harmed, lass – he’ll be awakenin soon.”

Shandri nodded and looked at Caleb.  To her surprise he was staring at her in a very odd way.

“Interesting color spray – tell me – how did you modify the colors to white through black instead of red through violet?”

Shandri had no idea what he was talking about – the spell had always been varying shades of white through black for her.  She noticed though that Stri was looking at her, apparently very interested in the answer herself.  She just shrugged.

“It’s simply always been that way for me – my magic is a little different for some reason.”

Caleb nodded at her.

“Different, but very effective.  And perhaps it explains why you can’t evoke very well.  Am I correct in assuming you are related to Lord Hendrick Greycastle in Everlund, and thence to Lord Roryn Greycastle of Cormyr?”

Shandri wasn’t surprised he knew her family – most people in this area knew of the two cousins, both Paladins of Torm.  She wanted, though, to know how he knew she couldn’t evoke well at all.  She answered his question first, however.

“Lord Hendrick is my father.”

He nodded, “and your mother is Lady Jhessail.  I think I can use both of you very nicely.  Greycastle women are always sorcerers of odd power, supposedly from the Silver Drake Selania in the early years of Cormyr.  Yours has obviously taken an odd twist.  See the master about your lodgings, I’ll take you on.”  He suddenly turned away in a manner that obviously meant the conversation was at an end.

To Be Continued...

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Book I: Gold and Grey

Chapter One: Shieldmeet, 1364 Dale Reckoning (The Year of the Trust)

Tessele d’Archendale unstrung her longbow as she entered the outskirts of Highmoon. The short walk from Whiteford, where she had been born and grew up – raised could not really be applied in her case – had left her thirsty for a cold glass of elven wine, something she knew the Moon and Star to keep on hand. Tolwin, the barkeep, would have a tale for her, and want to hear hers – where had she been for the last 3 months, were there drow or orcs or goblins in the woods to warn travelers about, etc. That, after all, was a ranger’s job – to keep track of the wildlife and others that passed through a region. Hers was the vicinity of Whiteford, forever hunting the members of the orc tribe that had slain her parents and left her scarred. She reached the tavern, shook the dust off of her clothes and out of her copper hair as best she could, and entered.

The common room was crowded – Shieldmeet was being held this year in Highmoon, and travelers from around the Dales made her certain there were no rooms available even without asking. That was not a problem – she camped outdoors most all the time, anyway, having no home or permanent residence. She approached the bar, and Tolwin had a glass of the wine ready when she arrived.

“Thanks, Tolwin. It’s nice to be known.” She smiled at him and sipped the wine.

“Anytime, lass.” He replied, once again wondering, as he had done since first seeing her, what she would look like without the scar running from over her right eye all the way across her face to her left chin. He thought she would have been beautiful – her elven mother had given her looks - that much was certain, and Gransby d’Archendale, her father, had given her his stamina and will to survive – necessities for a ranger. He looked into her bright, elven green eyes, and asked,

“Bounty? Or here for the meet? Three months is too short for you Tess, didn’t expect you for another two at least.”

She smiled. “Kind of here for the meet. Believe it or not, I’m looking for some adventurers to form a company and go off.”

“You? Go off? I thought you still hunted the last members of that orc band?”

“I did.” She pulled a ring from her pouch. “My mother’s. Taken by those who fled from the Riders. If the Riders who saved me didn’t lie, that’s the last of them. Now I just feel it’s time to move on.”

He looked at her sadly. “Well, I’ll miss you, whether others do or not. But I understand – a young lady like yourself needs to get out and do something. And Shieldmeet’s definitely the place to meet adventurers.”

She laughed when he said “young lady” and replied, “Young – yes, though at 26 some might not think so, Lady – I think not. I’m a ranger, Tolwin, and always dusty and slightly worn now. Maybe once I would have been a Lady – if Calmert hadn’t broken the betrothal after I got this.” She drew a finger down along the scar. “He was just too concerned with appearance – I suppose it’s a good thing in a way I found that out. Maybe I should have thanked that orc!” She laughed again.

“Well Tess, all I can say to you is I think any man would be lucky to have you. Never met a nicer girl, and your mom, if I can speak of her, she taught you everything you’ll ever need to know to be a lady.”

She blushed. “Thank you Tolwin. I’ll be back someday, that I can assure you. So, seen any likely candidates?”

He paused for a second, and scratched his chin.

“Well, there were two – kind of an odd pair. A well dressed gent, human, and a likewise well dressed halfling. A bard and a thief, I’d say, from the looks of them, though the halfling – think his name was Miles or something, called himself an ‘Adventurer’ – they all do. The human just told me to call him Tal – they rented a room, then went out to see the fair. There was another who was actually asking me the same question, but I don’t think you’d want to hunt HIM up – he was a huge hulking half orc with an axe.”

She looked surprised. “A half orc? How did he act? Not wanted that you could tell, is he?”

“I don’t think so. He seemed to know how to get along with others real well, spoke good common, too, and very polite – even ignored the comments the rowdies threw at him.”

“That’s very odd.”

“I thought so, at least. Other than that, I haven’t seen anyone. Not at least who looked like they were wanting to start a company.”

She nodded at him, thanked him, finished her wine and went in search of this bard and halfling. A bard would be the one, obviously, to start a company with. And halflings, while sometimes too garrulous, were generally always useful.

It didn’t take her long to find them – the halfling’s voice was speaking in excited chondathan –

“Will you look at THAT! WOW! He must be the biggest man I’ve ever seen, Tal. He’d be great to stand in front of you and take the hits.”

“Milo, we’re not looking for a target to distract those we meet – we’re looking for a new friend to help us.” The human’s accent was odd, then it struck Tess why – he spoke with a typical halfling accent! She hurried up to look at this pair.

The halfling was obviously an “adventurer” – leather armor, a short sword, soft boots, and she could see his hand darting around as people passed by. She smiled to herself – if they wanted to be dumb enough to walk by a halfling without guarding their purse, it was their problem. She only concerned herself with those who hurt others. The human was quite striking – dark blonde hair, hazel eyes, and a face of refined handsomeness – she felt a little flutter inside when she looked at him. He was slightly taller than she, by about 2 inches, no more, and well-built for his size. The lute on his back was the giveaway as to his career – no others were known to carry instruments around. His voice was melodious, yet obviously powerful. He was dressed in a slightly ill-fitting chain shirt, and wore a rapier and dagger. His clothing was outrageous – bright colors, but all blended well, a soft hat with a huge feather, and soft slipper like shoes. The halfling, once she tore her eyes away from the bard, wore normal, non-descript clothes and colors. His hair was black, and his eyes that odd shade of green found in both halflings and elves – just like hers. He was typical halfling height – about 3’ in shoes, but with none of the rotundness many halflings seemed to display.

She looked to see who these two were talking about, and saw him almost instantly. He was easily 6’ 8” tall – over a foot above her height - and titanically muscled. He was a half-orc, no doubt about it – the tusks and rings in his lips and eyebrows proved that beyond a doubt. The axe he carried looked to be almost as large as he. He was standing still, watching a priest of Gond wind up strange metal toys that moved by themselves – clockworks, she knew, but obviously he did not. She saw the bard walk up to him, and listened to the conversation.

“You seem very interested in these devices, my good barbarian.” This was spoken in orc-accented common! She was stunned at the bard’s ability to mimic it.

The half-orc turned to him, and grinned. “Yes, I think my little brother would like one, but I have no money to pay. I’ll just wait, I guess.” He shrugged his massive shoulders. His accent was likewise odd – and totally unfamiliar, though he spoke common well. She realized this must be the half-orc Tolwin had spoken of.

“Would you be interested in perhaps getting the money to buy all the toys you wished? Allow me to introduce myself – I am Taliesin Telstaerr, Bard, formerly of Westgate. This is my companion, and, believe me or not, brother – Milo Highhill, also formerly of Westgate. We have come here to seek our fortunes, and look for those with like minds to join us.” The bard bowed slightly.

The half-orc looked at him for a second, then bellowed “I Keth Zorgar! I mighty warrior of Palischuk! I split enemy with ‘Gutcleaver!’” Here the typical orc accent he had adopted vanished, and he continued, “Thank you for asking me, Taliesin, and it is a pleasure to meet you and your brother Milo.” He shook hands with them.

“I also wish to thank you for offering – many do not trust a half-orc. I would be willing to accompany you, at least for one adventure, to see if we get along – you may not be exactly who I am looking for, after all.”

“Likewise with us, Keth Zorgar from Palischuk – that name answers many of the questions I had. One adventure then, and we can see what happens from there. As I said, I am a Bard, and able to cure – and Milo is a rogue – with quite a bit of knowledge.”

“I AM NOT A ROGUE!” The halfling indignantly replied. “I am an ADVENTURER. There is a DIFFERENCE!” He looked at Taliesin. “A rogue, for example, would be so occupied picking pockets he wouldn’t have noticed the half-elf woman over there listening to your entire conversation. A ranger, I’d make her, and I’d bet 30 thumbs her elven half’s wood elf stock. Just look at her copper hair.” He turned and flashed a very white grin at Tess, then winked.

Tessele froze, mortified that just as Taliesin turned she was staring right at him – he’d almost certainly know she was attracted, and definitely, thanks to this “Adventurer,” knew she’d been listening. She prepared to run. Interestingly, it was the half-orc who stopped her.

“A ranger?” She glanced at Keth as he looked at her. “That would be a good addition to any party, if, as half-elf, she can ignore my half-orc, and, of course, if she’s looking for a company.” His eyes shot wide as he saw her fully.

“Very impressive! What art!” He walked towards her, and she knew, from where his eyes went, that he was examining her scar. “That would make you a queen in Palischuk – I’ve never seen better.”

Tessele was stunned – no one had ever complimented her scar. She shrugged, looked Keth in the eye, and said,

“It was a full member of your kind who gave it to me, after butchering my mother and father. They used an axe just like that” – she pointed to the greataxe on his back – “so pardon me if I’m inclined to NOT want your company. I was seeking them.” She pointed to Taliesin and Milo.

Keth looked at her, and seemed to look sorrowful.

“I am sorry, ranger. In Palischuk humans and orcs live in peace, and I forget in other places half-orcs who try to build and trade with honor are not to be found. And I also forget scars are unattractive to all except my kind.” He gave a wry grin, exposing two large tusks, one capped with gold. “I apologize – would you feel better if I said you were ugly?”

Tess’s eyes darted at Tal as Keth said this, but he showed no signs of agreeing. To her surprise and a strange warm delight, he was looking her up and down, as Calmert had done when she was 10, and their betrothal had been set. She shook the thoughts out of her mind – he was only sizing her up for a possible member of an adventuring company, just as he had sized up Keth. There was no chance he was attracted to a dirty, half-wood elf (the halfling had been very observant, she thought) ranger whose hair color was barely discernable under the dust, and had that scar that made her unmistakable. Keth’s reply, however, had caught her off-guard. It was an odd reply – where was Palischuk? The bard seemed to know something about the name. What was he talking about, and why did he not have objections to a half-elf?

“Well,” Taliesin began, “I would suggest a comfortable table back at the Moon and Star if we are to continue this discussion. It would be my great pleasure if you both would accompany my brother and I – as Keth stated, a ranger is a good addition to any company that plans on doing a lot of traveling. Do you have objections to that, miss...?”

“d’Archendale, Tessele d’Archendale.” She shook hands with the bard and Halfling (throwing Milo a stern look) and then, reluctantly, with Keth. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to at least discuss the matter – you do seem rather odd for a half-orc.” Keth just grinned.

The four of them made their way back to the inn and found a table off to one side. Here Taliesin positioned himself where he could see the door. Tess, in the habit of doing the same thing, found herself sitting next to him, closer than she felt comfortable with. Taliesin ordered a bottle of wine and a pitcher of ale, but it was Milo, pulling out a handful of loose coins, many from far away lands judging from the shape and the stampings, who paid.

“Were those coins already in your pocket when you arrived this morning, Master Highhill?” Tess asked.

“Actually no, they seem to have simply fallen into the folds of my pants – what luck they weren’t lost, eh?” He grinned at her, but that’s when she saw the look in his eye – there was something slightly disconcerting about this Halfling – the look was too cold. Taliesin simply smiled.

“So here we are, four people looking for adventure. With the possible exception of Miss d’Archendale, I feel I am correct in stating that none of us have a great deal of experience – thus we seek others of like minds, lest we fall in our tale instead of rising above it. As for the minds, I can clearly state for my brother and I that we, overall, seek to assist and help – promoting the greater good,” here he looked at Tess, “though not necessarily upholding the normal conventions of society. How about the two of you? The mindset is perhaps the most important to learn, before skills and abilities. Keth, what do you seek? Palischuk tells me you are probably not an insane berserker, but every place has it’s own.”

Keth was silent for a minute, then drained his ale and poured another. He passed his huge hand across his mouth, wiping away the foam.

“I am on a personal quest – that I will not speak of to you yet. I do not seek to harm anyone who is minding their own business, nor to fight unless it is necessary. I do not hold with many laws, but if I can achieve my goal without breaking them, then that is better. I feel good is good, but there is a time and place for evil. Both are necessary.” He drained his ale, and poured another. “Many will disagree with me, but an old druid I met when I was younger taught my father and I that balance is the goal.”

“In Vaasa I see evil everywhere – the beasts come from the mountains, and the clan of my father wages war on the innocent. This tells me evil has the upper hand, so now I fight against it. In a decade, who knows? I may fight against good – but never does Gutcleaver harm the innocent.” He drained the ale and filled it, then sat back, obviously finished.

Taliesin looked at Tess. Once more the little flutter went through her – she hoped he didn’t notice it with her sitting so close. She simply shrugged her shoulders.

“My father was a Ranger of Mielikki, defending this region, and my mother a druid and wizard from the local wood elven clan. I think that should answer you about my beliefs. Except that I have to agree with Keth – laws aren’t all that important except to control evil.”

The bard nodded. “I think with those views we can get along well, barring any racial prejudice. Talents and skills – those need to be spoken of. For me, as is obvious, I am a bard, and as a follower of Oghma I have specialized in the acquisition of knowledge. I speak Chondathan, Elven, Dwarven, Draconic, Illuskan, Orc, Goblin and Halfling. I’m a rather indifferent warrior – I can use my weapon, but that’s not my strength. I dabble in sorcery as most of my profession does, and one spell I do know is healing. I suppose my greatest talent is my voice and my “wit and charm,” as they generally call it.” He laughed as he finished.

“He’s got perhaps too much of that.” Milo broke in. “My brother is too modest – he can do all sorts of things, of course. Dad was always on to him to focus, but he just prefers to dabble in everything.” A sharp poke in the ribs from Taliesin reminded Milo he was supposed to be talking about himself. “Me – oh yeah, me. Well, I’m umm, real good with mechanical things – you know – traps and puzzles and umm, locks. I’ve got a real sharp eye – my dad said it’s “attention to detail” what counts. He taught me most everything he knew when he retired to Westgate. I’m not that much of a warrior either – though I’m a great shot with this – “(here he held up a drow-made hand crossbow) “my dad took it off an ambushing darkie on his last adventure. He told me he doesn’t rightly know why it didn’t disintegrate like all the other stuff they brought back. Anyways, I guess if somebody insists you could call me a rogue – I honestly just like to see what other people carry in their pockets. Umm, I think that’s all.”

Keth shifted in his chair, making the thing creak with protest under his huge bulk.

“I am a warrior, nothing more. I can move quietly when necessary, but my strength is in fighting – and not with skill. I have never needed that, my strength has always smashed my opponents down. I have skill in survival, but I am sure our ranger has much more. That is all I really have to offer.”

All eyes at the table went to Tess. She looked at Keth’s and Milo’s, but found herself looking at Taliesin’s chin instead – she didn’t want to blush again.

“My main skill is with my father’s longbow, though I can fight well enough with my swords. I have traveled throughout the Dales and in Sembia, taking some courses in Sembia on the use of two blades. I can move silently enough and hide well enough when needed, though I do feel awkward trying it in cities. I can keep myself alive indefinitely in the wild – I’ve never tried doing it in a group, but suppose it wouldn’t be much harder. Of course I can track an opponent, and as long as it’s not something I’ve never seen I can generally study spoor and prints and tell you what we’d be up against. I have a gift with animals, though I don’t seek one to accompany me – too dangerous. I finished my quest – killing my parent’s slayers, so I just figured it was time to move on.”

Taliesin drummed his fingers on the table and nodded. He took a sip of the wine he was drinking.

“It appears that between you and Keth we have the fighting aspect well-covered. My healing is indifferent, so I would propose, assuming we agree to associate, that before we leave we seek out what we lack. And I see us lacking in two areas – divine magic, in other words a cleric, and arcane magic – a wizard or true sorcerer. Without either we most certainly would be hampered, and find ourselves quite possibly talking with our respective gods much sooner than we would wish. It also wouldn’t hurt to try and find a fighter of skill – no offense to either of you, but a true trained fighter has some advantages neither of you possess.”

“There is no offense taken, Taliesin.” Tess and Keth looked at each other – they had spoken the same words at almost the same time. She shrugged, and then half-smiled at the half-orc. He smiled back.

“Then let’s split up for now – four ways, and begin our first quest – for new companions. Hmmm, I think a provisional name is in order – just for ourselves – the Company of the Seekers, how does that sound?”

There was no argument, and the four of them, having finished the wine and ale, left the tavern and went back to the crowded streets looking for the rest of their company.

To Be Continued...

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Chapter One: How I met Franka and Hans, or – “Why I was running for my life and who it was who saved me.”

It was an absolutely gorgeous day – the 1st of Mirtul (May for those of you not from Toril) just last year – 1371 Dalereckoning, the Year of the Unstrung Harp. At least it WOULD have been gorgeous if I hadn’t been running for my life through the Cormanthyr Forest near to Myth Drannor, AND been lost! I’d taken so many turns and dodges that even my super-genius intellect couldn’t keep track of exactly where my pretty little butt was right then – not until I could stop and collect my wits (I’m a good survivalist, in addition to being a genius Sorceress AND a hot babe AND pretty famous in these parts!). WHAT!!!! You’ve really never heard of me?!?!?

AHEM.

So I guess I better make a prelude to this prelude to the prelude.

I was born 15 years ago (my birthday was actually 12 days before this incident! So where’s my present?) in Shadowdale, as I said above, to my father Richard and mother Ecanthra. He’s a rich merchant in the town, she’s a typical housewife and “Lady about town” (not in that sense, you creeps!). I discovered early I had a LOT of raw magical power (believe it or not, I learned to speak Draconic all on my own by age 7, and – let’s just call it “another, special” language – I learned intuitively by age 10! (For Mike – this is Truespeak I’m talking about)). I really wanted to attend the Lady’s College in Silverymoon (I so admire the Seven Sisters and Mystra’s Chosen!), but my parents (overly protective of me, the supposedly “weak” sister unlike Luna, my older one, bleah!) forbade it and it was only through begging and pleading (and, admittedly, causing some problems, hehe) that I got to attend an actual Magical College instead of being taught by our local Hedge Wizard. At age 11, I packed up and moved to Suzail, the capitol of Cormyr! I attended the Arcane Color Academy (I think dad chose it because it was less expensive than the Royal College for Battle Wizards – I’d call him a cheapskate, but he rubbed off on me, so that’d be the pot calling the kettle black!). I was the youngest student ever there, and graduated in record time (only TWO years!!!) at the TOP of my class. I made a friend there – Naga the Serpent was what she called herself, and we traveled together for about a year before parting ways. And let me tell you, I started my rep then, and I’ve improved on it ever since!

You see, Naga and I needed cash quick. So what we decided to do (both of us being Sorcerers of great power – mine, of course, better than hers), was attack a bandit gang after they’d made a successful raid. Then we’d liberate their loot and use it for the numerous expenses two beautiful (though I’m the better looking of us!) young ladies (she was 17) have. You know – nice clothes, good food, combs, brushes, jewelry, magic items, entertainment – all that stuff. Well, it worked – so good we made it a full-time job, and built up a reputation. In the Dalelands they named me “Lina Inverse the Bandit Slayer,” because of the 35 or 40 gangs (I lost track after my 20th – they all start to blend together, even in a genius’ memory) either she and I, or, I (after she left) destroyed. It’s to the point now I have to go incognito (NOT my style) or else the gangs clear out when they hear “Lina Inverse has been spotted in the area.” <SIGH>

You see, the reason I’m so damn good is that I have MUCH more power than a sorceress of my experience and age. I suspect why, but I don’t know you well enough to talk about that yet (I’m also a scholar and historian of immense knowledge). I can cast spells even people with MORE experience than me can’t pull off, so it’s easy to wipe out a bandit gang by myself or deal with goblins, orcs, even a few trolls aren’t a problem for me.

Huh? What was that you asked? OH! “Why was I running for my life then?” Glad you asked – history and background over – back to my tale!

As I said, I was running for my life. I was running from Drow – five male drow warriors to be precise. I was leaving my exploration of Myth Drannor and on my way out when just plain bad luck hit, and I stumbled right into a Drow war party. Cormanthyr Forest simply crawls with the damn things, and it was night!

Now normally this small band (the whole raiding party would have been trouble, honestly) wouldn’t have worried me. I’d have led them away and fried them in private (yeah, hehe, even that renowned drow spell resistance doesn’t stop 90% of mine!), BUT, unfortunately it was shortly after midnight when I met them. Why does that matter, you ask?

WELL…

My amazing extra power DOES have a price. When I’m on my… No, hmmm…, when I’m – nooo!! Urgh! How to say this? When it’s “that time of the month” I lose my sorcerer abilities. There, I said it – cat’s out of the bag and all that. (Don’t tell anyone or I’ll roast you!) Mine are regular as one of those gnomish clocks – midnight on the first of every month through midnight on the tenth of every month (don’t the rest of you girls envy me?). I was heading OUT of Myth Drannor because I knew it was coming, but had taken a nap in the gorgeous sun and weather the day before and lost track of the time! (Okay, maybe I also ate 5 days worth of rations for lunch – but it was a great picnic!).

So anyway, there I was running with these drow after me, hell-bent on carving me up with those super-sharp swords of theirs, when what the heck happens – I trip over a root! Not only that, I tripped and went falling head over heels down a fairly steep slope, rolling and tumbling (good thing my backpack’s well-made or it would have torn off!) all the way to the bottom, where this path existed. I came to an abrupt halt with a loud “oomph!!!” (HEY! YOU try rolling a hundred feet or so down a virtual cliff and see how you turn out!).

There was a campfire on this path, and two men (around 20 or so, both identical hotties! – oh! Blonde hair, muscles on muscles, perfect teeth, tanned… I could go on and on <sigh>) sitting around roasting squirrels and having a conversation along the lines of “I think that rock would be a good weight to do our workout tonight.” They had a weird accent – like they were barbarians or something, but usually barbarians are like bandits – unwashed and smelly! These two were clean and looked very respectable. Amazingly, neither one of them seemed to even notice that a gorgeous babe had just practically landed at their feet! I could hear the soft patter of drow feet coming down the cliff behind me (MAN, don’t they EVER give up!), so I decided it was time to play the damsel in distress – I’m pretty good at bluffing when I need to!

“Oh thank goodness,” I said, running up to the guy with the sword, “I’m so glad I stumbled upon you! Can you help me, please? There’s a bunch of drow after me!”

Both of them looked at me, and paused.

Come on you two, what’s the deal?

The guy with the sword looked me up and down. Smitten by my looks, no doubt, and speechless!

“By Tempus! A starving little girl! Look at how thin she is! We must feed her, my brother Hans!” He stood up, took me by the arm and basically forced me to sit at the fire, while he and Hans shoved food into my mouth! Umm, HELLO!!!! Did you not hear what I said?

Don’t get me wrong – it was probably the best squirrel I’ve tasted, but now was NOT the time to be eating or enjoying the finer arts of the culinary profession. It was time to be drawing swords and getting ready for a showdown with disgusting, nasty, smelly dark elves (yeah, I HATE drow, maybe it’s because some people say I’m part drow since I have Amber/Red eyes and am so short and thin, and I resent it! Got a problem with that? At least my hair screams “not drow” – beautiful chestnut, down to my waist! And my complexion is a gorgeous naturally fair color, along with gorgeous round eyes a man could easily lose himself in! Uh hm, back to the story). And… Did he just say “little girl?”

“Electric Jolt!” and I hit him with the spell – a minor one, no major damage, ya know. Just enough to hopefully knock him into reality. Did I mention I don’t need components for spells (another one of my superior talents!)? And I know I didn’t mention that while I lose my sorceress powers, I retain those of an Evoker (my other profession), though my Evoker powers are pretty pitiful (Magic Missile is the best I can manage).

“Must be this dry weather – too much static electricity. Sorry if I jolted you, little girl.”

What the *@%^? Is this guy for REAL? How clueless can you get? I swallowed my rising anger (not an easy thing for me to do, since the drow were now only about 30 seconds from bursting out of the brush and attacking us), and tried again.

“Please good sirs,” I said, putting on my best and most winning smile, with a tear at the corner of each eye (okay, so I can be a ham when I want to, so what?), “There are evil dark elves chasing me! You must help me and save me from them! Please!”

It was as if the word “evil” threw a switch somewhere in the gruel this guy obviously had where his brain should have been. He looked at me and his eyes got all bright and excited (I would have figured just LOOKING at me would have done that, but… wait a minute – is this guy gay?).

“Evil! Where? Come Hans! Let us fight for righteousness and truth!” The other guy (who had a big mace, by the way), seemed just as excited.

“Yes, my brother Franka! By Tempus we shall destroy the evil!” And that was when all hell broke loose, in a manner of speaking. The drow came rushing out, swords and those nasty little crossbows all ready to go.

Now before I describe the battle, I want to say I was flabbergasted by these two brothers. Why, you ask? Simple – Tempus is a Chaotic god of battle and berserkers (and barbarians), NOT someone a Paladin (and that, judging from his response to “evil,” is what Franka was) would normally hold as a patron deity. I wasn’t even sure if Tempus would ACCEPT a paladin into his ranks (a chaotic and neutral god, with a lawful and good worshipper?), but who knows? My patron is Mystra (in her third incarnation), who is neutral and good, but allows anyone to hold her as patron, so maybe Tempus would do so as well (I have another “patron” so to speak, but we’ll get to that later). Now on to the action!

Well, my first action was pretty simple – get the heck behind the two meat shields I’d just picked up! I know, I know, sounds mean, but I’m not that great with a blade or a staff, and the idea of being chopped up and diced by darkies just isn’t my thing. I jumped back, while the brothers dim leapt forward (what an idiot cleric! He could have cast a bless or something first!), and began casting my first spell – “Shield” – one of the best when it comes to deflecting nasty pointy little bolts covered in sleep venom. Five to three odds, or, actually more like five to two and a half (since I wasn’t fully here, so to speak). I figured we’d manage if either of these two could actually fight as well as they were built.

Franka got the first kill right after my shield went up. One drow thought he’d be cute and try to flank him, but stepped a wee bit close and CHOP!! Off came an arm to the sword, which swept back up to face the other drow in front of Franka. Hans had two for himself, and the last drow was still after little ol’ me (must have been smitten by my looks and wanted to carry me back to the underdark – hehehe!). I was soon far too busy defending myself to pay much attention to the rest of the fighting, since this one darkie was just fast.

His first shot was with his crossbow, so I moved the shield directly toward him and kept it there. The little bolt with the greenish paste on the tip glanced off. I was glad there weren’t more drow, since shield only protects 180 degrees at a time. My turn was next, and I fired my “big” spell, “Magic Missile!” The pink bolt shot through the air and hit him square in the chest (yes, my color is pink – laugh at your peril!). It did the typical thing I expected – started to fizzle, then slammed into him (I’m pretty good at getting past spell resistance, though not as good with my Evoker stuff, I’d honestly figured it would fizzle out!). He staggered but looked alive and now, well, really pissed off. He charged me. I did the best thing I could think of – moved backwards as far as I could and drew my sword – though from the way he held his rapier I knew I wasn’t going to have much luck fighting him that way. It did at least keep some distance between us, though my meat shields were a fair distance away now.

We squared off for a couple of passes. I barely managed to avoid getting impaled, even took a minor cut on my leg, but I was alive. I hadn’t even scratched him. Then I had an idea. The problem was I’d already used all but one of my Evoker spells, other than cantrips. Since I didn’t figure the darkie wanted me to discuss ancient history or religion or something with him, Ancient Knowledge wasn’t going to do me a heck of a lot of good. That left a few minor little things and one of them was – now if I can just pull this off without becoming a Lina-kabob!

“Caltrops!!” I was ready for his attack, so he didn’t get a freebie – all that concentration training sure comes in handy for us Art practitioners! A bunch of caltrops appeared right under his feet. He nimbly stepped through them and stabbed, hitting me again – a minor flesh wound again, but they add up over time, and I HATE pain!

Now it was time for my coup-de-grace. I dropped down on one leg, stuck my other one out wide, and spun, aiming for the drow’s legs. Of course I’m not trained to do this so I felt an agonizing pain as his rapier pierced my back, but I felt satisfied when I heard a “thump” and a scream from him! He stood up a second later with an agonized look on his face (I was still on the ground, wondering what the heck I’d do if this didn’t work), turned and then fell face first. I could see the caltrops sticking out of his back – MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. I kicked him hard in the head as I passed (and of course looted some coins and a few potions from his body first) and ran back to find out how tweedledee and tweedledum were doing. I’d kinda gotten them into this mess, so I figured I needed to make sure they lived – they had been nice to me, after all.

They were wandering around on the far side of the little clearing, calling “Little Girl! Little Girl! It’s safe to come out now! We beat them! Come out, Little Girl!”

FIRST of all, “Little Girl” is NOT a name I like to be called. SECOND, how DUMB can you be, not to have even been aware of which direction your friend ran off in. UGH! I could feel a headache and stomach ache coming on with these two!

“I’m over here! I got the last one!” I smiled brightly at them, reminding myself to be nice – they HAD saved my life, basically. They walked over.

“Ah! Hans, she is injured!” Franka took me in his arms.

“HEY!! PUT ME DOWN!!!”

He ignored me and then laid me down by the fire. Hans started casting a healing spell.

“Really, I’m fine, I’ve got a potion of my own in my pack. We should get out of here now, in case more drow are following me.” My pleading was in vain, and I felt the pleasant sensation of the spell heal up all the wounds – nothing left but the bloodstains and a few tears in my outfit. At least he could heal.

Well, the brothers dim and I, after urging them to take the squirrel meat with them and move as far away as possible, looted the bodies and headed off down the road. We marched all night and into the day.

I’d told them my name, but they didn’t recognize it, so I decided to keep my sorceress abilities hidden for now. Man these guys must have been from far away! We continued South (they wanted to go North, and fight the Zhents! What kind of idiots are they?), at my insistence, and hit the Moonsea Ride, then Southwest for Ashabenaford. Why there? Glad you asked.

Ya see, last time I’d been in Shadowdale, I’d heard about this new group of bandits robbing travelers on the Ride. Just last year Naga and I’d cleaned up the area, but then she went off West and I went home for a bit, so I guess the unwashed decided it was safe to come back – boy were they going to be surprised! Unfortunately we made it to Ashabenaford unmolested (or maybe fortunately, since now I could wait for my powers to return, hehehe).

The three of us had pretty much become friends in the tenday or so we were together. I found out a lot about them, they found out I was a sorceress – the innkeep, Holfast, at the White Hart, recognized me! I’m kinda hard to miss in my outfit, but then that’s why I wear it. I had to explain like ten times why I didn’t fry the darkies (they’d never heard of “that time of the month”), but at least when they found out I defeated evil bandit gangs, I think I shot up greatly in their estimation. Though they did have to stop calling me “Little Girl!” <FINALLY!!!> I still got tired of them forcing me to carry rocks in my hands and swing my arms up and down while we marched – ack!!! My hands will get all rough and I might chip a nail! I solved that problem easily. Explaining to them I couldn’t use a sword very well (though I didn’t tell them I intend to learn how! Possibly free lessons from Franka – he IS nice and VERY good looking, though also very dim, hmmm – ya can’t have everything, right?), I bought a finely crafted, iron-and-brass shod quarterstaff with my share of the loot from the drow. Heavy, yes, but not rough like a rock (and I actually CAN use it in a fight!).

Altogether we stayed at the White Hart until the 12th of Mirtul. Then we heard that a group of masked bandits had just robbed a caravan coming in from the East. They named themselves the “Ladykillers.” How pretentious! The Riders were planning on looking for them, but since they knew me, I persuaded them to give me a tenday to hunt them down on my own. I outfitted my new group with the finest fake and rich looking trappings I cared to spend money on, and the three of us set out on the afternoon of the 12th, to find and destroy the “Ladykillers” bandit gang!

Chapter Two: How I Met Cazz the Illusionist, or – “Why Cazz the Illusionist Owes me his Life and Devoted Service for the Rest of Eternity.”

We left on a nice day, looking for the Ladykillers, dressed (falsely) to the hilt and ready to kick some bandit butt! We headed Northeast up the ride, back, sort of, to Myth Drannor. I was hoping we’d meet the Ladykillers fairly quick – the White Hart serves the BEST venison stew in the parts, and as usual, I was hungry (8 eggs, a pound of bacon, a loaf of bread with butter and honey and ten (total) glasses of milk and apple juice just aren’t enough for a growing girl!).

A few days travel brought us to the entrance to the forest – a great spot for an ambush, but I doubted even a bandit gang with the pretentious name of “Ladykillers” would be doltish enough to set up one there, since it’s the obvious spot. Hmm, guess I was wrong this time.

Hans heard it first – a low moaning from the right (south) side of the road. Also some giggles (giggles?). We all paused, then a robed and cloaked figure dropped from the big tree overshadowing the road. Dressed all in black, couldn’t tell features, yada yada, seen it all a thousand times. I set my hands on my hips and cocked my head. Hans and Franka moved forward, hands on their weapons. The figure decided to break the so-called tension (I already had half of a Scorching Ray cast at this point!).

“Well, well, two more yummy specimens – and a little girl, too! How delicious!”

WHAT?! Did it just speak in a woman’s voice?!?! I started to realize what our mistake had been, pretty quickly!

Hans and Franka looked pretty out of it – the shock was probably more than their minds could bear. Franka looked at the figure, who swept back the cloak, revealing… well, VERY revealing robes, cleavage like the Rift Canyon in the Shaar, and a tall and muscled figure. Oh, I was going to ENJOY this fight!!! Then Franka spoke.

“Are you okay, Miss? I hear moans – is one of your party injured? I or my brother could heal them for you?”

DOLT!!! IMBECILE!!! These are the freaking bandits mush-for-brains!!!

She looked at him with the same expression I had on my face – in that moment I rather sympathized with her – we both had to deal with the Brothers Dim.

She must have noticed I had a spell almost ready – I’ll give her credit for that, at least. She laughed and said,

“So the little girl is the leader? Tell your bodyguards to hand over all their valuables, then we’ll let all of you pass – we’ve got our playtoy for a while. Oh, girls, why don’t you show them we’re serious!”

Another four figures dropped down, shaking off cloaks and revealing almost identical figures – since I figured there were at least two where the moaning was coming from, that made seven bandits – I didn’t even need Franka and Hans for this one, though they’d make the job easier. This fight was going to be SO much fun!!!

“Yeah,” I replied, “I’m the leader. The Brothers Dim just don’t have what it takes – do you?”

She looked at me and narrowed her eyes.

“Insolence will only get you killed, little girl, even if you do know a magic spell.”

Hans and Franka were listening and watching. I was hoping they’d catch on soon that these women were the enemy, and that the mistake we’d made was not putting a space in “Ladykillers.” It should have been “The Lady Killers.” I took three steps right, towards the moaning – whoever it was didn’t sound in good shape.

“We’ll, insolence works both ways – especially when you don’t know who you’re dealing with.” By moving, I’d also lined myself up with the leader and one of her cronies – the Ray would hit both now.

“Oh? And who is it that’s so fearsome I should worry?” Then she laughed – that same, irritating-as-hell, annoying, let-me-choke-you-to-death laugh Naga used to do!!! OH, WAS THIS BITCH TOAST!!! I felt my left eye and face start to twitch, out of sheer anger.

“My name’s Lina Inverse – and you’re a bandit, so even an idiotic cleavage-laden moron like yourself knows what that means!”

CLICK! The lights must have gone on inside her head.

“YOU?! You’re Lina Inverse?” She looked me up and down. “Flat-chested, short, Drow eyes – YOU ARE HER! Girls, take her down now!” I was upset she didn’t add the “or we’re all dead” part.

I didn’t waste any more time – “SCORCHING RAY!” And leapt off to the right, nearer to the moaning. I figured whoever it was needed my help, badly.

“Hans! Franka! Attack NOW!” I was hoping THAT might sink into their mush-for-brain heads. Hoping they’d caught the clue, I turned and ran towards the moaning, leaving my meat shields behind. It was at most maybe 10 yards, then I came to a clearing. I had to pause and gag.

A man was NUDE! On his back, one partially-clothed bandit on top, another rummaging through his belongings. WTF?!?! Obviously he was being robbed, but, well, he umm… seemed to be ENJOYING it!?!?!?! What’s up with this guy?

“Scorching Ray!” I sent a blast at the one… umm… on top. It blew her completely off and across the clearing – ONE DOWN FOR LINA!!!

The other one turned and looked – she was definitely surprised. I grinned big and started another spell. She turned and was in the process of casting “shield” when my Orb of Fire slammed into her. I almost laughed seeing her run around in circles with her clothes on fire, until.. Oh yeah, there’s an entire battle going on here!

SHE came into the clearing- the leader, I mean. She looked PISSED. My first ray had evidently hit her – she had a scorched garment and her hair was frizzed out.

“You little wench! How DARE you challenge us!” She began casting a spell. Uh Oh, maybe I underestimated this one – she’s at least equal to me! She was casting Scorching Ray. I immediately began counterspelling it, at the same time listening to the clang of weapons from the clearing where I’d left Hans and Franka – they were at least fighting with weapons there and not spells.

Now, counterspelling is tricky business. Some people are better at it than others. You can use an on-the-spot modified version of the spell the opponent is casting, or try a general counterspell with Dispel Magic. I don’t know Dispel Magic, so I had to wing it, and I’d honestly never tried before, but if I didn’t, I knew I’d probably be barbequed, so I really had nothing to lose. I could feel that strange surge of cold and emotion flow in my body as I completed a slightly modified variant and we both shot the rays at one another.

SIZZLE! POOF!

As I expected (I AM a sorcery genius, after all) the spells cancelled one another – one major mishap averted. That still left me with two current – make that three as another woman with a battle axe came crashing into the clearing from where my meat shields were fighting – opponents, albeit one was rolling desperately on the ground to try and put out the flames she was engulfed in. Time to get serious. I began casting a spell in “Gobbledeegook” – that other, special language I mentioned earlier.

I could tell the leader couldn’t make hide nor hair out of what I was doing – seemed to me she was trying a general Dispel Magic counterspell to try and disrupt what I was casting. People had tried that before and failed (I never could figure out why). I uttered the final words of the spell.

“Bulwark of Reality!”

Translated it shouts – Bulwark of Reality. The three (well, okay, two, since the one on fire had stopped rolling and I figured she was gone – TWO FOR LINA!) opponents hit the ground and rolled as far from me as possible. Instead of a flashy effect, though, all they saw was a brief shimmering gold field around me, and then nothing. The spell I’d cast was my best protection spell – somehow it generated a field around me more powerful than a standard “Mage Armor” spell, but it didn’t last as long. This is actually the secret on how I can take on 10 or so bandits by myself – but if you tell anyone I’ll turn you into my dinner!

Now I had to figure out what to do with these two. Both were standing up with looks on their faces like “Why aren’t we dead?” You’re not dead because I didn’t cast an offensive spell, big-chested wenches! Now was the time FOR an offensive spell, and they were both lined up so nicely… Hehe… I pulled a scroll out of my case.

And then the tactical situation changed. The leader began casting another spell – a quick glance told me it was shield, while the gal with the battle axe rushed me. At the same time TWO more women of the gang came running into the area – I couldn’t tell if they looked afraid or like they’d dealt with Hans and Franka and were now ready to take on the might of little ‘ol me. I was too busy finishing the reading of the scroll. The Head of the Big-Chest, Small Brain Gang had just finished her spell and the battle axe girl had jumped back after her attack failed to hit me (SPECTACTULARLY, I might add – I LOVE Bulwark!) when I completed reading my scroll –

“FIREBALL!!!!”

You should have seen the looks on the bandit’s faces. And, umm, well, the looks on Hans’ and Franka’s faces (HEY, IS IT MY FAULT THEY WANDERED INTO THE AOE WHEN THE SPELL WENT OFF!!!!). Even though it was a scroll, I could feel a massive surge of that cold power, and my hands had a golden aura around them.

Needless to say, all that was left after that was the clean-up. Hans and Franka had been at the very edge (thank Mystra!) and were scorched but okay. The bandits – well – there wasn’t much left. There actually wasn’t even much left of the woods between the clearing and the road. Ya see, that was a special scroll I’d been saving, one much more powerful than a normal store bought fireball. The three of us (after I gave Hans and Franka ALL my healing potions – URGH!!! WHY couldn’t they have stayed on the ROAD?!!?!?) went to look at the guy on the ground.

He had shorter hair and a beard, and after I made the Brothers Dim dress him, he appeared to be a scholar or traveler – but all in decent earth tone or bright colors. He was kinda out of it at the time, until he shook his head and looked at me.

“Well hello there, miss. Were you the one on top? Or the one on bottom?”

SLAP!!!! BONK!!!

“WHAT!!!!! I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE HUSSY BANDITS WHO TRIED TO ROB YOU MISTER!!!”

He rubbed the hand print on his cheek and the huge knot on his head and looked at me.

“No, I guess you aren’t. They all had larger chests.”

I couldn’t believe he said it with a straight face.

SLAP!!! BONK!!!

“WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM MISTER!!!?!?!?!? I JUST saved you from being robbed by a group of bandits and you have the gall to INSULT me?” I could hear Hans and Franka going “huh?” in the background. “Don’t you know who I am? I could roast you in a second!” I stood up and totally decided he’d get absolutely NO healing – AND he’d have to carry all MY loot back to the White Hart.

“Should I know you?”

I looked at him like he was insane – great, another one from far away. Then he paused.

“Wait – from the descriptions maybe I do, since you say those gorgeous women were bandits.” His eyes looked me up and down (go ahead and make another comment mister, and have three lumps after your tart, sugar! – hehe, get it? Lumps – Sugar… okay, so maybe it wasn’t that funny… anyway). “You’re Lina Inverse the Pink Sorceress, the Enemy of All Who Live, the Bandit Slayer, and the Dragon Spooker.”

I could feel the right side of my face twitching. At least he hadn’t made comments about height or chest size this time, but…

I lunged at him and felt Franka grab me from behind just as my hand was about to smash his face in.

“Lina! He is injured. You should not strike an injured man who may be a friend to us. And what does he mean – ‘enemy of all who live’?”

I turned and bonked him on the head.

“I have NO idea what he means, but it’s the THIRD insult, along with that ‘Dragon Spooker’ crap, so I’m gonna smack him!” I could hear the guy stand up behind me.

“Pardon me if I offended. I may be a little out of it. I was given this,” he held up a pipe that I hadn’t noticed, “by the women. I suspect it is a mild euphoric drug. As far as your titles, you should know them. At least that’s what they call you in the thieves’ guilds in Sembia.”

“AHA! So does that mean you’re a thief too?” Hans and Franka both looked surprised, but I could tell they were ready to attack if this guy turned out to be a bandit. Franka let go of me and I turned to face the guy. He replied to my question.

“I used to be, but now I’m an adventurer, though I retained my skills. I use them now to penetrate” (I wanted to smack him again when he said that word with THAT look on his face) “dungeons and ruins. Same as you, I would guess, when you’re not out hunting bandits. Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Cazz Cerulean.” He extended his hand. I eyed him warily.

“Lina Ecanthra Inverse – I guess you know me, but forget the ‘Pink’ stuff.” I extended my own hand and shook his.

SLAP!

He KISSED my hand!!! Now normally I don’t get upset over stuff like that (it’s kinda romantic and makes me think about handsome princes <sigh>), but after what this guy had been doing…

Franka grabbed me again, pinning my arms to my sides (GODS!!! I need to learn how to cast without somatic components so bad!!!). Cazz looked at me and rubbed his cheek.

“You’re quite a bit different from any other young woman I’ve ever met, Miss Inverse. I really didn’t believe the tales that you were only fifteen. I have to admit, for someone so young, you’re very impressive,” He suddenly got a look on his face (he must have seen the corner of my mouth start to twitch) and quickly added, “In the skill of the Art, I mean.”

So okay, I was mollified. And Franka sensed it ‘cus he let go of me.

“Okay, so this is Franka – he’s a paladin of Tempus,” Franka took a bow as I introduced him, “and this is Hans – his brother and a cleric of Tempus. We’re adventuring together and fighting against evil. What’s you’re take, Cazz?”

“I don’t like evil. Even when I was a thief I didn’t do banditry – guess you don’t have to slay me, after all.” He grinned.

The guy was charming and handsome, but did he have any real skills? If he knew how to pick locks and find traps, then I wouldn’t have to send Hans or Franka in first and let them set off all the traps! He could be useful – IF he could learn to keep his hands to himself!!!

We loaded up the loot (and YES, I MADE Cazz carry ALL of my share – after carefully counting it to make sure he didn’t steal any of it – once a thief, always a thief, I say), tied the ankles of the “Lady Killers” bodies with rope and I marched in front while Hans, Franka and Cazz dragged the bodies of the seven bandits behind us – ALL the way back to Ashabenaford. I quickly figured out Cazz wasn’t very strong. He WAS surprisingly intelligent, however. I was surprised he could talk about Tempus and actually knew some things about the history of the area. He was educated, intelligent, handsome, very persuasive (to anyone but me – on our way back it was Hans and Franka pulling the bodies while Cazz and I walked in front and talked), and knew a bit about the Art (that’s Magic for all you untutored people out there). He was a dabbler, but he specialized in illusions – that could come in handy, though not as handy as me, of course! The biggest problem was keeping him sober, off drugs, and his hands off women. What did I just get myself into? I guessed there was some story from his past, but he never shared it (and of course, I never told him about MY little, “Golden” secret, at least as far as I understand it).

Chapter Three: The Early Adventures of MY Company – “Lina’s Slayers”, or – How We started heading to Damarra.

We arrived back at Ashabenaford on the 19th – we’d been taking it easy on the trip back (or at least Cazz and I had). The Riders were impressed with the victory we’d won over the “Lady Killers,” and the reward money was duly paid over into lil’ ol’ me’s hands (a whopping 500 gold!). I took 175 for myself, gave Hans and Franka 150 apiece and “donated” 25 to Cazz so he could get some new rations (his were a little overcooked after the fireball, hehe!). We went to the White Hart and enjoyed the venison stew (Cazz seemed to be a connoisseur of the finer things, not just the depraved things) while discussing our next move. As before, the Brothers Dim wanted to head north and take on the Zhents. After explaining to them for the umpteenth time that we couldn’t take the Zhents, I decided we’d head northeast (sort of a compromise – SEE I CAN be diplomatic) towards Damarra, where I’d heard the new King was having all sorts of problems with orcs, gobboes, trolls, bandits and the like. I didn’t know enough about these guys yet to take them with me on my upper level explorations of Myth Drannor (I’d rather handle that part myself, believe it or not).

We set out on the 25th. I knew IT was coming, and that Hans and Franka were prepared, the question was – what would Cazz do? I wouldn’t have journeyed with him by myself if I hadn’t had the brothers with me – he’s too flaky. For example – what does he pack to take on the trip – Elven wine instead of water! Don’t get me wrong, I like Elven wine, but in your actual waterskin? Sheesh…

We headed up the Ride towards Hillsfar. Since we were all humans I wasn’t too worried about our reception at that town (Naga and I had been there twice, and my dad trades with a merchant in the town), but I cautioned everyone to be civil and careful. Two days later, on the 27th, we arrived.

The gate guards were rude and to-the-point as usual, and that’s when I had to make a snap decision.

“And the name of your company, ma’am?” One of the guards asked (at least he was bright enough to realize I was the leader!). I quickly thought of possible titles, and could hear Cazz clearing his throat. Gotta act quick!

“Lina’s Slayers.”

His eyes opened a little wider.

“As in Lina Inverse, the Bandit Slayer? Is that you?” He looked me up and down (oh, if he made a comment it was going to be so hard not to smack him!).

“Yep! That’s lil’ ol’ me!” I put my hands on my hips and cocked my head.

He nodded and recorded the name on our pass, then we were let through the gate and entered the town. None of my companions had ever been here before (and honestly I’m not super familiar with the place – Naga and I always stayed at the Three Jester’s Inn), so I led them where I knew – the Inn I just mentioned. I told everyone to prepare for at least a Tenday stay – Cazz was puzzled, but the other two knew what I was talking about – in three days I’d lose my abilities. Besides, the Inn, as I remembered, was very comfortable, and had a great Cream of Giant Crayfish soup (I want to try Cream of Dragon Turtle Soup, but haven’t found a place that serves it yet – umm umm GOOD!).

Sleeping arrangements were simple – I stuck the Brothers and Cazz in one room, and I got a private room to myself (I AM the only woman in the party, ya know?). I had Franka unload all my heavy stuff in my room, then drew a hot bath to relax and enjoy the Inn. I told the boys to behave (AND not to spend all our money!), then started my good long soak in the tub.

For about fifteen minutes or so I could hear the boys chatting and unpacking in their room, then they headed downstairs - I could hear Cazz say something about “wine” and “I’m going to look for a magic shop.” I sighed and made a little pillow for my head out of a towel, leaned one leg over the edge of the tub and closed my eyes.

Now, I’d locked the main room door, but left the door to the water closet open since I don’t like being in a room with only one exit (the window being the second). It couldn’t have been more than 5 minutes after I closed my eyes when I heard a sort of surprised gasp and open my eyes back up. I must have dozed off, because standing in the doorway to the water closet were three men – two in armor and one in nice robes. What the HELL?!?!?!

“ORB OF FIRE! Get the HELL out of my room!!! How DARE you walk in unannounced!!!”

I don’t think any of them were really paying attention to the last two statements – one guy in armor was screaming and rolling on the floor, the other slammed the water closet door shut and the robed guy had dodged to the side. I stood up and cast Bulwark.

“Bulwark of Reality”

Then I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around myself, and picked up the (empty) chamber pot to use as a weapon (ya gotta do what you gotta do!). I was just about ready to blast the door open with a ray when I heard a voice speak.

“Miss Lina Inverse, I presume? Our sincere apologies, I should have knocked on the outer door, but I was so anxious to speak with you I just let myself in. Please forgive us, we mean no harm. Here, here are your things, including weapons, we’re going to just crack the door a little and slide them through.”

“NO FUNNY STUFF OR THIS ROOM BECOMES AN OVEN, GOT IT?” If you haven’t noticed I can be quite intimidating at times.

“Most definitely not, miss.” The door opened just enough for me to see my clothing (on hangers) passed through, along with my sword belt and staff, then the door closed.

I cast a quick Detect Magic on my stuff to see if any curses or something had been put on them, then dressed. I gripped my staff and opened the door. The guy in robes was tending to the injured armored guy, while the other armored guy looked like he’d peed his pants and could easily do so again (his shield was rattling against his armor). I’d scorched the floor and singed a few curtains (GREAT, now I have damages at THIS inn to pay for <sigh>). I assumed my standard pose – hands on hips and head cocked – and said.

“Okay, so what do ya want? And what’s the idea of just walking in. There’s a thing called a fist that you should have used to knock – and it has another purpose too – one I can use on your face if I don’t get an answer I like!” Okay, so I was pissed, and mortified, and even more pissed because I WAS mortified – so sue me!

The guy with the robes spoke, as I expected.

“My name is Talon Vask, and I’m a merchant here in Hillsfar. I know of your father, and have even done business with him. When I heard you had entered the town again, I thought perhaps I could hire you for a job. I would pay you very well, and your entire company. You obviously are more powerful than I thought you were.”

Okay, so compliments are always accepted well…

“What’s the job, and what does it pay?” I flicked my hand through my gorgeous hair and cocked my head again – TIME FOR NEGOTIATION!

“I recently purchased an old manor on the outskirts of town. It is, however, evidently infested with undead, so I cannot move in until the taint is cleansed. I’ve lost ten guards trying to deal with the situation, and thought about hiring Kayman’s Swords, but then I heard from the City Guard that YOU had entered town. Since I know your father, at least as a business associate, and since you have quite a reputation, I thought I would offer you and Lina’s Slayers the job first.” He smiled at me.

“And the pay?” I raised my eyebrows.

He laughed.

“Just like your father, money first. One thousand dragons (that’s a gold piece for you uneducated and monetarily incompetent people out there) for ridding the manor of undead. Half up front, the rest on completion.”

“Two thirds up front – we’ll need to get holy water and special supplies. Also, YOU pay for the room damages, since it was YOUR fault they occurred.”

He looked at me.

“Very well, deal.” And he extended his hand.

I took it and we shook. That meant, despite my obvious impetuousness, that we had a deal, and I’d see it through.

“I gotta ‘clear’ it with my company, but you’ve just cleared your manor of undead – they’ll do what I tell ‘em. Won’t take more than two days!” I smiled. Of course it COULDN’T take more than two days or I’d be powerless! We had to jump on this one fast! A THOUSAND DRAGONS! Just think what I could buy with all that gold!!!!!! And I get to decide how it’s distributed!!!! Happy happy joy joy!!! I mean, what’s a few undead among friends, right?

“UNDEAD!?!? Lina, remember I’m an illusionist!” Cazz obviously was NOT happy as we were sitting down to a mid-afternoon supper and I was telling them about our new job. He leaned over closer, “Not to mention my specialty of hitting an opponent where it hurts will be totally useless – that doesn’t work on undead.”

“Yeah, so you’ll be a bit of a dead weight (like the pun?), but you use a mace so you can whack on any skeletons we find and throw Holy Water and such. What do you think, Hans?”

Hans looked excited, like he was a little puppy someone had just thrown a tasty steak.

“I’ll finally get to try turning undead!” He turned and looked at Franka. Then they spoke together, “By Tempus we will smash the damned!”

While Franka was distracted by his religious zealotry, I took the opportunity of swiping his baby giant crayfish tail off his plate and was eating it. With my mouth full,

“Okay, it’s settled then. We leave in four hours.”

“Umm, Lina?” Franka asked, “Won’t it be dark in four hours? Aren’t undead more powerful in the dark? Shouldn’t we wait until morning and daylight?”

I looked at him – he had a very valid point, and in any other circumstance I would have agreed, but I only had until midnight on the 30th to get this job done, and right now it was 7 in the evening on the 27th. We had to move fast, again.

“Remember what happens in less than three days, Franka?”

He scratched his head, looked at Hans, then at Cazz, then at me again. Then he rubbed his chin and repeated the process. Oh Gods, another headache is coming, I just know it! His eyes suddenly lit up.

“Oh yeah, I totally forgot! Next month we move you up to a lead-weighted staff as part of your training!”

My face fell right into my bowl of Giant Crayfish Soup.

It was dark, almost midnight, and the Manor was creepy. It stood just on the outskirts of Hillsfar, just outside the walls. There were none of the usual animal noises, so that was an immediate giveaway that something was up. We’d stocked up on supplies, and all of us carried a bunch of holy water, though we’d left things like rations and bedrolls back at the Inn (no point in carrying all that heavy stuff when you don’t need to).

“Okay, simple marching order, since according to Mr. Vask there’s no traps. Me, Franka, Hans and then you, Cazz.”

Cazz looked surprised.

“Doesn’t the Art user usually take a place BEHIND the fighters, Lina?”

“Not my style – besides, once my spells go up, I’m harder to hit than either Hans or Franka. AND this way none of you are in my line of sight. If we come to an area where there may be traps, then you go in front, of course.” I grinned at him.

“That would be wise, I guess. You sure are different from your mother…”

I ignored the comment and walked on. Cazz, see, had been asking me about my mother lately and intimating things. Franka always grabbed me when it seemed I was going to explode, and right now we needed to focus on the mission.

“FOCUS, Cazz!” I walked on through the gate. I could hear Cazz take a big drink from his waterskin – I’d made him fill it with water this time.

Naturally, I went around the house once, to inspect before we went in. It didn’t take long to see where the undead problem was coming from. An ancient mausoleum stood in a private family graveyard near one corner of the lot.

“There’s where we go first.”

“Not into the house?” That was Franka for you, always clueless <sigh>.

“Undead come from the DEAD! Where are the dead here, Franka?”

He looked around.

“Umm, I guess in the mausoleum.”

“BRILLIANT deduction, Sherlock! I’ll bet we find the boss undead somewhere down there.”

We headed to the mausoleum and I had Cazz examine the lock. Is it my imagination, or do I smell wine on Cazz’s breath? Nah, no way, I MADE him and WATCHED him pour out the wine and refill with water. Must be residual…

Cazz picked the lock easily, and we swung the heavy stone door open. Of course it gave off that stereotypical eerie creaking. Before us was a set of stone steps leading down into darkness. I could hear Franka fumbling in his backpack behind me.

“Don’t bother with lanterns or torches, Franka, I’ll just cast a spell.” He looked relieved – now his hands would be free to fight and use his shield.

“LIGHT!” Franka’s shield began to glow.

“LIGHT!” And now Cazz’s mace was glowing. Since we were up against undead, being stealthy wasn’t that important. We descended into the mausoleum.

It was covered in cobwebs – but I wasn’t worried about spiders – these webs were all normal. I didn’t figure Mr. Vask had had his goons come down here, so I made Cazz go in front and look for traps. We came uneventfully to a door. It had all sorts of strange markings – ancient Damarran, I recognized, and could get the gist of what they said. Something along the lines of “Here rests so-and-so who made a pact with yada-yada.” I wasn’t too worried.

“Bulwark of Reality!

“SHIELD!

“Okay, Cazz, open the door.” I’d just put up my defenses.

There was that smell of wine again… Hmm…

Cazz checked the door and then picked the lock. He swung it open. There was a big room with a sarcophagus in the middle and eight doors total on two of the walls. I pushed Cazz lightly into the room.

“Look for traps, Mr. Cerulean. Judging by the dust no one’s been down here in close to a hundred years.”

Cazz duly scanned the ground and walked forward. He pronounced the room clear, so Franka, Hans and I walked on in. I made my way to the sarcophagus.

“This is the boss undead, I’ll bet my last dragon on it! Cazz, check it for traps!”

He started to head over, then something happened.

The sarcophagus was opening!

A bandaged hand gripped the side as the lid slid further back. Oh by Mystra! It’s a mummy! Hell! Well, at least I can handle it by myself, assuming we don’t have any more complications! I could sense Hans trembling under the aura, and Cazz had already shrieked and was cowering in a corner of the room. I could feel the aura of fear flow over me, but shrugged it off. Franka, I knew, didn’t feel any fear of anything – one of the bennies of being a Paladin. He stood close to me.

“A mummy! Don’t let it touch you, Lina!”

“Likewise, Franka! Block for me and I’ll take care of it with my rays!”

We both leapt back, Franka assuming a blocking position. He grinned and winked at me.

“Looks like we’re reading each other’s minds, Lina!”

Yeah, what mind there is of yours for me to read!

“Traveling together can do that, GET READY! The others are out of it!” I smelled urine – couldn’t tell if it was from Cazz or Hans, and I didn’t have time to wonder or find out, because as the mummy sat up ALL eight doors opened in the room!

Out of each door came two zombies and two skeletons! SHIT!!! Hans could turn them easily once the mummy was gone, but until then they’d tie up Franka and I, and Cazz was helpless. Okay, gotta take out the mummy quick!

“SCORCHING RAY!”

The blast hit the mummy dead on, setting the thing on fire. It didn’t look dead yet, just really pissed off right now! It stood up and advanced right towards me! Meanwhile, Franka was trying to block 32 opponents for me! Gosh, he’s such a good guy! AND so handsome, and so polite – even if he does have gruel for brains. FOCUS LINA!!!

I didn’t want to blow ALL my big spells on this mummy, so my next attack was

“ORB OF FIRE!”

It slammed into the mummy, and he went up like an effigy! I could tell one or two more blows and he’d be down. Franka was hacking at zombies and skeletons – two were down, shattered or cut in two, and was maneuvering to keep himself between me and the main body force. But now, Hans and Cazz were about to be smacked by the force! CRAP!!!

I turned and ran towards Hans – I’d been with him longer, and we needed him NOW! Two skeletons swung at me and one hit, but the field from Bulwark absorbed the damage.

“RESISTANCE!” It wouldn’t help now, but in the future it might. I turned and slammed a Zombie with my right hand.

“DISRUPT UNDEAD!”

Eeewww… Gross… The zombie blew apart from the positive energy I’d just sent into it’s body.

“Lina! I can’t protect you when you’re way over there!” Franka looked truly concerned. How touching.

The mummy was about to close and hit him. Franka took down another Zombie, and then intuitively stepped aside.

“SCORCHING RAY!”

The blast knocked the mummy down and it looked like he was gone for the count. A skeleton took a swing at me with a sword and it glanced off the Bulwark. Another zombie raised his fist and…

SMACK!!! KATHUNK!!!

Hans stood up. He looked briefly at the zombie, then raised his holy symbol. I glanced over at Cazz. He felled a skeleton with one smash of his mace and then took a fighting posture. Way to go Lina!!! You took out the boss!!! Now all these walking corpses are just an annoyance!

“By the power of Tempus! All of you damned souls return to whence you came!” Hans’ voice could be pretty powerful.

About half of the remaining undead turned and moved against the far wall, crowded up in an attempt to get as far away from Hans as possible. It looked like Franka and Cazz were handling the rest, along with Hans, who kept his holy symbol up, so the ones lined up against the wall were my duty.

I sent multiple Orbs of Fire and Scorching Rays at them, while Franka and Hans were pretty impressive dealing with the others. Cazz seemed to lose interest, and only took down a few. Franka concentrated on zombies, while Hans took on the skeletons – smarter than I thought, since they seemed to know the mace would do more damage to the skeletons than the sword! My opponents were down (and I was out of spells) when Franka felled the last zombie. Only one opponent remained – one skeleton attacking Cazz. He swung and missed, the skeleton hit and cut him across the chest.

“Cazz!” I cried out and drew my short sword, rushing over to him. Before I could get there Hans reared up behind Mr. skeleton and smashed him to pieces! Gods! They are both SO strong!

Hans cast a quick healing spell on Cazz – he wasn’t terribly injured, and then we searched among the crypts to find loot. Interestingly, all we found was one lousy amulet! It didn’t even radiate strong magic!

“Well, Hans came through in the end, but YOU blocked for me and helped out more than the others, Franka, so you take it – just let me examine it later, please!” I handed the amulet to Franka. It was a weird amulet, shaped almost like some sort of key. Franka seemed really excited about it. (Note to Mike and others – this is THEORETICALLY how Franka gets the key to the Drow vault, since I can’t remember if he’d found it earlier or anything, thought I’d throw it in here, since it hasn’t been mentioned before).

We headed back up and out of the crypt/mausoleum and back into the yard. From there we approached the house. From the descriptions our employer had given, I figured there must be a few more minor undead hanging around up there. We approached the front door of the manor, and I pulled out the master keys Mr. Vask had given me.

“Okay guys, I’ve blown all but one of my sorcerer spells – one more armor spell. I’ve still got my Evoker stuff and cantrips, but you all are going to have to take the brunt of these fights.” They all actually looked a little surprised – I guess in all the fights we’d been in together (other than the first) Hans and Franka had gotten used to me blowing most all the baddies away.

“Look on the bright side of this, guys,” I smiled, “since YOU’RE doing most of the work, YOU get most of the loot! Just remember not to take any possessions from the rooms – only what we find on the undead, okay?”

We unlocked the door and started wandering through the house. There were some undead here, but they were minor skeletons and zombies (and two ghouls I guessed had decided the place looked like they could get a good lunch here or something). Hans and Franka took care of them pretty easily, with Cazz and me giving support from the flanks – he with his Heavy Crossbow and me with irritating little cantrips. We finally arrived at the door to the last room in the manor (MAN was this house BIG!). I walked up the door.

“Hmm, locked. Guess no one’s been in here yet.”

“Try the key, Lina.” Duh, Franka, that’s what I’m planning on – I DON’T have gruel upstairs, ya know?

I pulled out the keys and tried all of them – none worked. Hmmm, there must be something important in here. I wonder if our employer is keeping it secret or not?

“Okay Cazz, your turn! I’d check for traps, since I have a feeling our employer probably didn’t lock this door himself.”

“You got it, babe!”

Franka put a hand on me to stop me from hitting him. What is up with Cazz tonight? He’s getting WAY too familiar and there’s still that wine smell.

Cazz checked the door, then picked the lock.

“All done, Miss Lina I., the honey! Allow me.” He opened the door. I glared at him and checked the room – all clear, just the master bedroom. Franka and I stepped forward at the same time when I suddenly heard the click and could feel a floorboard depress ever so slightly under my foot.

“TRAP!!!” I could see it – FLAME JET, probably explosive!!!

“WATCH OUT FRANKA!!!” Cazz you idiotic MORON – HOW COULD YOU MISS A PRESSURE PLATE RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE DOORWAY!!! I shoved Franka with all the strength contained in my petite little 5’1/2”, 85 pound frame – he fell to the wall at the side of the hallway – I figured I had a better chance of dodging this than he in his heavy armor. I never got the chance to try. There was a huge FOOM, then an even bigger KABOOM, and the last thing I remember is hearing Franka scream.

“LINA!!!”

Chapter Four: How Cazz the Illusionist Redeemed Himself, or – “Why I Didn’t Kill Cazz when I woke up and Recovered.”

I woke up to a familiar ceiling, but I could only see out of one eye. I was in my room at the Three Jesters, lying in bed. I moved my one eye around and noticed first that I wasn’t in any pain, and second that my other eye could move and see, but it seemed to be covered by something. Then third, I noticed Franka sitting in a chair next to my bed. He was asleep with his sword lying across his knees. A tiny bit of drool was coming from his mouth onto his lap – EEWW!!!

I was ravenous right now! I tried to move – no dice – I felt like I was completely constrained by something. Next I tried talking.

“MMphh mmphh mmpphh!” Tasted like bandages! So THAT’S what had happened. The guys just didn’t know I felt fine right now. I decided to try a spell I had memorized, and see if that would work. I could move my fingers just fine, and this one simply made a door or window open quietly – it also needed no verbal component.

Silent Portal!

The door to my room opened, noiselessly. Now if only someone loud could walk by…

It didn’t take long. A rowdy group of men came lumbering down the hall. Franka woke with a start and wiped the drool from his face.

“Huh? How’d the door get open?” He got up and walked over to close it.

“MMPPHH!!!! MMPPHHHH!!!”

Franka closed the door and then turned to me.

“Lina!!! You’re awake!!!” He rushed over to the bed. “Are you okay and all? You were severely injured – it took all the healing Hans and I could do to keep you from dying, and then when we got back here it took several priests to fix all the damage.” He looked genuinely concerned and delighted – that was so sweet. <SIGH> If only he had a brain!

“Mmmpphh Mph Mph MMPh.”

“Oh no! You’re in pain? I’ll fetch another priest!”

NO!!! You idiot! Take off the godsdamned bandages!

Franka must have seen the look in my eye, because he stopped.

“OH!!! I guess you could tell me what you need if I loosened the bandages around your mouth!” He seemed delighted with himself that he’d had that brilliant idea without me coaxing him verbally!

The door opened and Hans and Cazz walked in. Cazz had some sort of liquid drink in his hands, with a long straw.

“Is she awake?” Hans asked when he saw Franka leaning over me about to loosen my bandages.

“Yes!!! She wants to tell me something.” Franka began loosening the wrappings.

“Do we absolutely HAVE to, Franka?” This was from Cazz. OH!!! HE IS SO MUCH WORMFOOD WHEN I GET THROUGH WITH HIM!!!

“Think about how peaceful and pleasant a time we’ve had in the six days since the accident. No insults, no slaps, no hitting. I admit, I owe her a great deal, and it WAS my fault, but do you two really want to be called the Brother’s Dim in front of everyone again?”

Franka must have noticed the whole right side of my face was twitching.

“It’s okay for now, Cazz – it’s That Time of the Month.” And he gave a self congratulatory smile and nod, since he’d finally apparently remembered! SIX DAYS!!! GODS!!! HOW MUCH OF OUR MONEY DID THEY SPEND!!!

Franka took the bandages off from around my face and mouth. I noticed he didn’t remove the mummy-like swathes around the rest of me. I opened my mouth to speak. Cazz cut me off.

“Cleric’s orders, Lina – we’re not joking with you. You were very near death. Hans and Franka cast everything they had, we used all your healing potions, all of our healing potions, and still had to have clerics come in to finish up and get rid of all the scars and such. That explosion took out the whole bedroom. Turns out there was a safe in the room with a bunch of gemstones. We recovered them and Mr. Vask cut us in and gave us half the value – so we made 2000 dragons this job!” He was attempting to smile, but I could tell it was weak.

“Umm, here – cleric’s orders – cream of mushroom and onion soup, but just the broth – you’re not to have solid food until tomorrow morning.” He sat the big bottle in front of me. “You can, however, have as much of it as you like. And Lina – Miss Inverse – I’m very sorry. I absolutely promise I’ll never be under the influence on a mission or job again. If it weren’t for you, Franka would probably be dead. And possibly the rest of us, since you took the major blast and shielded us with your body. I donated all of my share to your healing fund.” He turned and left the room.

I remained silent and began sipping my broth – it was excellent at least, though I wish it’d had the mushrooms and onions in it. Hans was examining all my bandages – normally I’d have been really upset over him touching my legs and such, but I knew he was doing it for chirurgery reasons. Franka was simply watching me. Then a sudden thought hit me.

“HEY!!!” Broth flew out of my mouth and spattered the side of Hans’ head. “WHO THE HECK UNDRESSED ME TO TREAT THE WOUNDS?!?!?!?”

Hans and Franka both jumped back. Then Franka took the lead.

“Well, Lina, there really wasn’t much left of your clothes after the fire, so I wrapped you in a curtain and carried you back here. Then some priestess from the Shrine of Loviatar came twice and tended you and changed bandages. I couldn’t find any other temple willing to deal with a Paladin. It’s a good thing we didn’t need spells cast, or it’d have cost us more than the 1500 she charged to get you healed up!” He looked like he was happy again.

“1500!!! 1500 WHAT?!? NOBLES OR DRAGONS!?!?!?!?” OH MY GODS, OH MY GODS!!!

“Dragons – they gave us a discount because they thought you were pretty and like a ten year old girl. OH! I had two new sets of clothes made for you.” He rummaged in the wardrobe and held up two sets of identical clothing just like I’d worn before. “I splurged and got them made of better, softer materials, because I know your skin will be delicate for a bit!” He smiled again, “But now you’re all healed up, and no scars!”

I’d have accepted the scars if it had meant not spending 1500 dragons – so long as they weren’t on my face!

I slumped back down.

“Please undo the bandages – if it was a priestess of Loviatar, I need to survey the damage she did. She’s not called the Maiden of Pain for nothing, you know! Just the ones holding my hands to my sides.” Now I knew why I was totally tied up – Loviatar’s worshippers are into that sort of thing. Perverts!

“Umm, I dunno, Lina.”

“JUST DO IT FRANKA!!!”

So he did. Then I kicked them both out of the room. Once the door was shut, I got rid of all the bandages, stood up, locked the door (I WAS completely unclothed, and, as I’d suspected, though Hans had avoided the area, the Priestess had left an “entrance” at one point!). I walked over to the mirror and checked myself out. No scars, no marks, just my cute, extra-petite body exactly as it always looked – though my skin was a bit pinkish. At least that priestess knew how to get rid of battle wounds – the scars from the drow’s rapier were gone!

“BUT 1500 DRAGONS!!!!! ARRGGHHH!!!!!!!”

I could hear Franka knock on the door.

“Lina, are you okay?”

“Go away for now! I’m pissed!”

“Ummm, okay… But how’d the door get locked? How are we supposed to care for you?”

“JUST GO AWAY CHUM BRAIN!!!”

As the footsteps receded I could hear Hans saying to Franka,

“You know, brother, Cazz WAS right. It was a lot more peaceful when she was all bandaged.”

OOOHHH!!! When I get my powers back… Let’s see, six days since the 28th (early), that means it’s the 4th of Kythorn – six more days…

I went over to the wardrobe and dressed in the clothes Franka had bought for me. To my surprise they fit perfectly, were an exact match to my old outfit, and were super comfortable – silk, cotton and cashmere wool, I guessed. I figured Chum Brain had blown the other 500 dragons on these two outfits – but that was okay, since I’d have paid that much for these two anyway – they really felt that good against my skin. I buckled on my sword belt, checked to make sure all my remaining potions and scrolls were still around (they were), that the boys had picked up my hidden pocket stuff and replaced it (they had! And no gems were missing!!!) and then went to the door and opened it. I stood for a second in the doorway and flipped my hair over my left shoulder.

“Get ready, world! Lina Inverse is back in business!”

Chapter Four: How Cazz the Illusionist Redeemed Himself, or – “Why I Didn’t Kill Cazz when I woke up and Recovered.” (continued...)

The snow was light and pleasant. We were marching along the streets of Emmech, in Aglarond, on a job for one of the local merchants – take out a thieves’ den in the sewer system below. It was around 8:00 p.m. on the 11th of Marpenoth (October). An early snowfall, but I enjoyed it. Hans and Franka were behind me, and Cazz brought up the rear. We arrived at the sewer entrance.

WAIT!

Huh? Did you just ask me to wait?

I just skipped four months of activity! I know you’re dying to hear what all happened! Well, in a nutshell…

Lina’s Slayers had quite a few adventures. We walked all the way from Hillsfar, by the Moonsea, to Aglarond (I wanted to visit it because the Symbul, one of my all-time fav Sorceresses is the ruler here, so we went because I said so!). I made the others follow my wanderlust, and they seemed not to mind. Along the way we wiped out some gobboe parties, orc parties, bandit gangs, and spread the fame of Lina and company to the Unapproachable East, as Faerunians call it (though it IS a part of Faerun!).

I forgave Cazz – and he stayed sober during jobs (though his roving eyes spent more of HIS money than they should have – oh well, his choice!), made a friend out of him, got closer to Hans and Franka (mostly Franka – I think he has a crush on me! But he’s so polite he never says or does anything – now if I can only replace his Chum with a brain!), and made (and spent) a lot of money. Mostly on food! We had our squabbles – all parties do – but my leadership took care of all the potential problems.

We’d arrived in Aglarond a month ago. The locals here don’t like Art users, even though they’re ruled by the most powerful sorceress on Toril (that’ll be ME someday…). We gained their trust though, by fighting evil – maybe a little TOO much trust, since some of them (in whispers I heard when I was around) were speculating I was the Symbul’s Daughter or something! My age and my power <SIGH> - always incompatible for some reason in most people’s minds. Of course when you wipe out ten orcs by yourself at 15 and aren’t a warrior or fighter, I guess I can see why they were mistaken.

ANYWAY. That’s why we were in Aglarond. Now back to my tale.

“Franka, the cover, please.”

Franka bent down and grabbed the cover to the sewers, lifting the heavy steel grate like it was a loaf of bread. Oh! His muscles bulge so nicely! WAIT!!! FOCUS LINA!!!

“My turn! LIGHT!” I simply cast the spell on my hand this time. Franka moved to go down first.

“Me first, Franka – this is a thieves den we’re entering.” Cazz bent down while I gave him the light and he carefully examined the ladder. He took the ladder down about halfway with me right behind and stopped. He fiddled with something, then I heard a ‘click.’”

“Disarmed – simple bolt trap.”

He continued down, carefully watching his footing, and we all arrived at the stone ledges on either side of the effluent.

“Have another one, Cazz – the better the lighting, the better the seeing. LIGHT!” Cazz’s mace began to glow.

We wandered around the sewers for a bit – at times like these I wish we had a Ranger in our company so we could just follow tracks! The usual giant rats abounded, and we (I, that is, since Cazz doesn’t do much with fire!) had to fry a patch of green slime along the way. There was also this fifty foot long alligator… Okay so that part’s a joke! (Don’t you people love how I use metaphors and lingo that doesn’t exist in Toril – proof I’m more than one dimensional, if you get my drift!). The green slime and the rats weren’t a problem – I let Cazz and the boys deal with the rats (he sure is good with that crossbow, even if it takes him a year to reload it!).

We’d headed down a tributary (is that the right word for a sewer?) branch when Cazz (after I’d renewed the light on his mace) called us all to a halt.

“No one move.”

He bent down and took a bunch of tools out of his pouch. I knew they were thieves’ tools, but hadn’t ever really looked at them in detail (and usually they were all melted by the time I got to see them anyway – you know me and bandits!). I squatted down to watch closely.

He took a small pry bar and lifted one of the flagstones, using a long thin probe to feel around the edges before removing the whole shebang. There were some gears and levers and fulcrums and such underneath. He examined all of them carefully, then took some sort of thingamajig and popped out one of the gears lower down, then removed it with a different thingamabob. I was glad HE knew what he was doing – I’d have just told everyone to stand back and blasted the whole array with a scorching ray spell. When I mentioned that he quipped back.

“Glad I’m here, then – this is a gas trap – by the looks of it explosive. You’d have ended up dropping the whole sewer on top of yourself.”

Like I’ve said, sometimes I’m impetuous and impatient. HEY – NO ONE”S PERFECT!!!

Cazz carefully replaced the stone and then stepped back.

“Just in case you all might want to retreat say fifteen feet.”

We all stepped back without arguing, and Cazz put his foot right on the stones and stepped forward. There was a click and a whirr, then nothing. He turned to us and grinned. He spoke the same words at the same moment I did.

“If they put that powerful of a trap here, they must have an entrance nearby!” The brothers dim, as usual, just scratched their heads and shrugged their shoulders. They were used to me and Cazz having all the ideas and them just putting forth the muscle. All of us began searching the nearby walls.

To everyone’s astonishment, instead of me (the usual finder of doors!), it was Hans who discovered the secret door. He literally put his hand right through it! What it was, was an illusory wall, with about five feet of space and then a solid metal door. Cazz again took the lead.

You know, I’m GLAD I didn’t kill him back at Hillsfar – he can do SO many things when he’s sober, things I’d have to have the Brothers Dim attempt, or me, and I can’t do everything, as much as I think I can. And he doesn’t spend party money on women or booze or drugs – just his own, which is his business, not mine. He’s a good companion, if he’d just lay off on the wisecracks about my mother and the intimations about me when I turn 18!!! Maybe I SHOULD fry him a little…

He advanced slowly, checking the floor, the walls and the door before examining the lock. Out came more tools and in a minute or so…

CLICK!

“There’s no trap here that I can see, but everyone stay back just in case.” He opened the door slowly. There was a short hallway, then a stone stair leading up. Cazz moved forward, his mace at the ready. There was a torch at the top of the stairs.

“Lina, do you mind?” Cazz looked at me. I snapped my fingers and the Light spell dissipated from his mace. I partially readied my Shield spell (not enough to cast it, ya know, but enough to get it off fast if I had to). Since my staff had been burned up back in Hillsfar, I drew my short sword. I really need to go ahead and ask Franka for lessons on how to use this thing, since all I know is you slash and stab with the pointy end! Go ahead and laugh! I can fry ALL of you anytime with my spells!!! I just, uhh… suck at melee combat.

I flicked my mantle back over my shoulder so I’d have a clear shot at my scrollcase, and tossed my hair over the opposite shoulder.

“All yours, Cazz – let’s take out some bandits!” I gave him a big wink.

From the expression on his face, the wink wasn’t a good idea. Don’t get any weird ideas about tonight, you pervert!!!

We marched up the steps, and Cazz picked the lock on the next door. He opened it just enough to see through. I could hear raucous laughter and chat from down that hall – sounded like a party! I turned to the boys.

“Well, looks like our bandits are having a party – what say we crash it!” I had a huge grin on my face. All of them nodded and the Brothers Dim gave me ‘thumbs up’ signs.

“SHIELD!

“Bulwark of Reality!”

As usual, Cazz looked at me strangely after I cast Bulwark. It had to be the golden aura that was clearly visible after I cast the spell. This time he actually said something, though, in a whisper.

“I wish I knew what the hell you were doing when you perform that casting, Lina, it kind of scares me.”

Like it doesn’t scare ME! I honestly wish I knew what the hell I was doing when I cast the spell, too. All I know is it works! And that’s all I care about! Well, that, and the really cold feeling and the surge of power I feel flowing through my body and the fact that I found it in a book dealing with the Lady of… Sorry, I have to shut up the internal monologue here – I don’t know you well enough yet!

Franka drew his sword, Hans readied his mace. Both put their shields in position and I used some tricks of my own.

“RESISTANCE!” I cast it on Franka. Cazz grinned at me, and gave me a wink. What is that for?!? Cazz handed me a handful of crossbow bolts. I stuck them in my belt. Hans chanted a Bless, and then we marched down the hall, in standard order, since we figured there were no more traps – Me, Franka, Hans, then Cazz.

We came to the door the noise was coming from – lots of laughter and clinking of cups and mugs. Oh was this going to be TOO easy!!!

I put my hand on the knob, turned it, then kicked the door open and strode in, my hands on my hips and half of a Scorching Ray already cast. There was a stunned silence after a second or so while everyone absorbed the impressiveness of ME! Chestnut hair, amber eyes, perfect, absolutely fabulous petite figure, gorgeous clothes (thanks to Franka!), complexion unblemished! No wonder they paused!

“HEY BOYS! LINA INVERSE IS HERE TO JOIN THE PARTY!!! Along with her Slayers!” I added the last as a whisper.

I’d ID’d the leader – the slightly built guy on the comfy chair (hehe!) at the head of the room. No time to waste, no spells to waste – git ‘er done!

“SCORCHING RAY!!!”

The blast shot forth and slammed into an empty chair! HE’D DODGED!!! WTF!?!?! Okay, so this one might be tougher than I expected!

Franka charged in right past me and began engaging something like four opponents at once. My protector! Oh goodie! Now I can really burst out! Jeez he’s so awesome in melee! <Shakes head> FOCUS LINA!!!

Hans rushed in and headed for two of the bandits. He cast a spell!!! What the heck!!! Hans is casting a spell instead of just attacking!!! Am I going insane!!!

“STATUS!” He shouted it at the top of his powerful lungs, then swung his mace at a bandit and crushed the guy’s shoulder!

Cazz appeared in the room at that moment and cast a pretty impressive spell.

“COLOR SPRAY!”

I wasn’t sure if he knew it, or had a scroll – I had my own problems, but about six bandits dropped, so either way it was effective!

My problem was simple – the Leader. He’d dodged my ray, then snuck around and tried to stab me in the back! I blocked his short sword with a combination (I assume) of luck and my spells and my own short sword. The other thirty or so bandits were ganging up on my friends. OH!!! This does NOT look good… Did we bite off more than we can chew? NAAHHH!!! NO WAY!!! Come on!!! We’re LINA’S SLAYERS!!! We can take on ANYONE!!! KEEP FIGHTING, LINA!!! NEVER SAY DIE, LINA!!!

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Franka and Hans each fell an opponent, then watched as Cazz reappeared from the shadows and crushed in another baddie’s skull. Their ranks are thinning – but this Leader guy is up to ME!

WHAT THE F@#&!!! THIS GUY IS CASTING A SPELL!!! ‘Critical Strike’, huh? Trying to do me in with one blow – JUST TRY IT!

I laughed at him as the blow glanced off the Bulwark, and started chanting my next spell.

“Try and dodge this, asshole!

“BURNING HANDS!!!”

I’ll give him credit, he ducked so it only burned off his pony tail and singed him – he WAS quick! Three of his cronies weren’t so lucky though, and went up in flames, never to arise again. He stood back up in front of me and pointed his sword in my direction. Franka was trying to desperately to get over to me, while Cazz had disappeared again and Hans had his hands full with six or so bad guys.

“So we meet again, Lina Inverse! Where’s you’re big-breasted friend, Naga, and her annoying laugh? Did you get tired of women?” This was from the bandit leader.

My reaction was a combination. First, I was surprised the guy knew me – and Naga! Must be some survivor from one of our early kills… Second, I was pissed – what WAS this guy insinuating!!! OH HE WAS SO DEAD!!!

“So you know me – then you know you can’t win – just give up and we’ll let the authorities deal with ya, okay?” Franka had felled two more on his way over, Hans had felled one and another he was engaged with had retreated back. Cazz was still unseen.

“OF COURSE I KNOW YOU! YOU SLAUGHTERED THE RED BROTHERS AND STOLE EVERYTHING WE HAD! WE WERE AN ACROBATIC TROUPE!!! YOU AND THAT BIG-TITTED, LAUGHING MORON!!! I HAD TO TURN TO BANDITRY TO SURVIVE!!! AND ONLY BECAUSE I WAS GETTING WATER AT THE TIME YOU ATTACKED!!!” He looked very angry… (Guess that’s an understatement!)

I remembered now – not HIM, but the attack. I’d TOLD Naga I didn’t think they were bandits, but she had this thing against anyone that wore all reddish colors (like me, <SIGH>), so she waded in and I had to follow. It was the last battle we fought together. I’d gotten my sword from that battle – which was probably why this guy was eyeing it so closely.

“Sorry, pal, wasn’t my idea, but you can go after Naga anytime ya like – I’ll even help. Tell ya what – call off all the attacks and clear out and we can call it even – I won’t even loot from here!”

“IT’S TOO LATE FOR THAT, LINA INVERSE!!!” And so the guy threw my peace offer right back in my face – along with his sword. Well, okay, he didn’t throw it, he swung it. Unfortunately for him, I had my spell ready (I’m really good at muttering under my breath while I speak other things!).

“SCORCHING RAY!!!” And yeah, I WOULD have let him walk out alive if he’d taken my deal…

He took it full on, and was pushed back, then hit something and stopped. He wasn’t dead, just surprised. He looked over his shoulder, slumped in pain and smoldering from my blast.

“What the…?”

Cazz appeared and smashed his head in with his mace. Talk about a sneak attack!

“You okay, Lina?”

“I’m fine, Cazz, let’s finish this!”

“Okay, but I DO want to know what he was talking about! Especially the big-busted part!”

OHH!!! Why don’t you line up with one of my rays so I can get rid of YOU too, you freaking pervert!!!

Franka had turned his attention back to his own opponents, after I gave him a quick ‘thumbs up.’ Hans was actually DRIVING his opponents back – they were afraid of getting hit by the wrecking ball his mace had become. I think I need to learn Bull’s Strength for these guys – they’d be able to bench rhinoceroses!

Cazz sort of slunk away into the shadows again. I lined up an opponent facing Franka and…

“ORB OF FIRE!” The opponent went up in flame when the ball smacked him.

The remainder of the battle was pretty similar, so I’ll skip the details. There wasn’t much actual loot, but we DID get paid 750 dragons for taking out the “Red Hoods,” as the gang had styled themselves.

After a hot bath (for ALL of us – and in SEPARATE rooms, you pervs!!!), and then a visit to our employer, we were richer, comfortable, and all sat down at a table in the Inn (Sign of the Singing Sorceress – change one letter and It’d describe ME!!! Singing – Singeing… Get it?).

“HEY, WAITRESS!!! I’ll have everything from #1 to #12, double portions!!!” She looked shocked.

“Yeah, and I’ll have #2, #4, #7 and #10 – Triple portions!!!” This was from Franka.

“I’ll have #8 to #12, triple portions as well!” Hans ordered.

Cazz winked at the cute waitress.

“Normally I’d have leftovers, but I don’t think there will be any. Let me have a #5, medium rare, with mushrooms and a potato and Imperial dressing on my salad.” She looked relieved he’d ordered normal. Wait! Did Cazz just get a wink from her!!! Poor girl…

There weren’t any leftovers.

BUT, in between bites we decided on our course of action.

Damarra still had that bounty going – on ears! Orc, goblin, troll (now that’s a tough one! Since they regenerate NEW trolls!), bandits, hobgoblins – you name it, they paid a bounty. I was only hanging around Aglarond in the hopes that the Symbul would take notice of me and maybe offer to meet me or something. That hadn’t happened, and I didn’t see it coming, so I was ready to wander on.

We slept (same arrangements as always, since Hillsfar), bathed the next morning, stocked up on rations, and headed into the north on a totally fine, gorgeous early winters’ day. I’d replaced my staff for snow purposes, since we were heading north, but those clothes Franka had bought me were both warm AND cool as needed. Gosh he’s so good to me! Cazz gave the waitress a long kiss goodbye the next morning (HOW many kids does he have all over the place, already!!!), and we trudged off north, towards Damarra.

Chapter Six: A Strange Incident with Drow, or – “HOW STUPID FRANKA MISSED OUT ON GETTING ME A STAFF OF FIRE!!!”

Brrr!!!!! NOW I remember why I hate winters up north, especially in the mountains! This was the time of year Mom and Dad and I would head (with Luna, unfortunately!) south to Cormyr and the sunny beaches! Oh well! I’m making my own money now! And we’re at the top!

It was just after midnight on the 11th of Hammer (January) – the day had just changed over and I could feel my powers flood back into me. It was also a new year – the brand new Year of Wild Magic! That’s 1372 for those educated people out there (like me!). I was seated downstairs in the main room of the Inn we’d chosen to stay at here in Bloodstone Pass. Franka was asleep in his chair next to me, his long blonde hair falling over the table and gently tickling my leg. I was sort of surprised I wasn’t mad at him for that. Cazz had gone to spend the night (AGAIN!) with one of the barmaids, once her shift was over. Hans had retired for the night to his and Franka’s room upstairs. Chang was playing chess with a dwarf from one of our rival adventuring companies – looked like she was winning.

We’d been here now for slightly over a month, and already our name was in the top five on the Big Board. You see, to help boost the popularity of this campaign against evil, the authorities had a huge board erected by the gate, and posted the names of the top 10 companies and their total ear count. Lina’s Slayers had risen to number two, then slipped back over the last tenday because, well, Lina wasn’t slaying right now. We were at number five currently. I knew we had a lot of work to do in catching back up and getting to that Number One spot! I just wasn’t tired – I was contemplative.

Chang was as happy as a pig with a full food trough! She was making legitimate (in her eyes) money for the ears, and had proven to have some good ideas on tactics. They just weren’t flashy enough for my style, but I have to admit, we were doing really well. And she sure could handle that naginata thingie she wielded! The barmaid brought me a fresh glass of elven wine.

“Are you going out hunting tomorrow, Miss Lina?” She asked.

“Yeppers! I think I’ve had enough of a vacation and rest for right now.”

“Just make sure you and Mr. Franka get some rest tonight, if you intend to start early.” She gave me a big wink and walked away.

What the HELL?!?! OH CRAP!!!

BONK!!!

“WAKE UP AND GO TO SLEEP!!! HOW DARE YOU TRY TO SEDUCE ME WHILE YOUR UNCONCIOUS!!!”

CRASH!!! I kicked the chair out from under him and he hit the floor. I stormed out of the Inn into the night to blow off some steam.

Franka stood up, rubbing his head.

“What was THAT all about?”

Chang shrugged and giggled, then turned back to continue playing with the dwarf.

OOHHH!!!! I know it isn’t his fault but still! What is getting into me lately!!! WHY was I playing with his hair and stroking his head while he was asleep!?!? The big lummox! How dare he make me… No, I WILL NOT SAY IT! OR THINK IT!!!

I walked out the gate and blew several holes in the mountainside just to cool off. And got fined 5 dragons for causing a commotion when so many people were asleep. It was worth it.

We were back to Number Two. Tomorrow was Midwinter’s Day – a big festival even up here (where it always seemed to be winter!). I’d have my powers for that day, but then it’d be the 1st of Alturiak (February), so I figured it was vacation time again! Maybe I’d go sledding with the town’s kids, or treat myself to a shopping spree, or just eat and eat and eat! Ohh!!! So many good things to do!

The town had the festival all set up, so we woke up early, with most everyone else in town, and had a blast! Chang showed off her chess skills by playing in a tournament and finishing second (to the dwarf she played with every night – I wonder if something’s going on there, since she’s around his height?). Franka and Hans won the team wrestling competition (and WAY too many looks from all the women!!!) by literally slamming their opponents down. Cazz made a little money doing prestidigitation and enhancing it with his illusion magic (he’d made a friend with some gnome who worked as a librarian at the Gnomish Illusionist school in the Kingdom) – the kids loved him (and again, so did too many of the women!). I enjoyed the whole shebang, walking and filling my belly with all the goodies the street vendors were selling (CORN DOGS!!!). AND I finally got to eat Dragon Turtle Soup!

My rep had spread up here, and people recognized me, so I didn’t worry about pickpockets and such. Besides, most of the people in Damara are law-abiding and good. Why hadn’t I traveled up here earlier? Even some of the orcs and half orcs were pleasant and respected members of the community. I went ahead and bought a wind-up toy for Franka from a goblin vendor. I figured it was actually made by a gnome clan the gobboes had wiped out, but oh well, he’d enjoy it! I DID go sledding – after firing a Scorching Ray down the hillside to make it solid ice once it refroze! Boy did the kids love that – and this time I cleared it first with a local guard, so I didn’t get fined! All in all, it was the best Midwinter’s Festival I think I’ve ever attended.

But the time passed, and we had work to do. And besides, that cold feeling was with me now almost all the time – not just when I cast a spell. And I’m not referring to the weather, you dolts! I was having nightmares, and waking up in a cold sweat with a slight golden aura. This had happened before, around this time of year, but the images weren’t as intense (and no, I’m not telling you what they’re of!). Anyway, enough about my little problems…

It was the 18th of Alturiak. We’d come in the day before with a big harvest, gotten some rest, and were headed back out to try and find the rest of the goblin tribe that had escaped us. We passed through the gate in the usual order, and were walking along when something caught my eye.

It was a full party of Drow, including Priestesses.

Now, Drow are bad news, regardless of what they’re doing, they need to be destroyed. The only good drow is a dead drow (except for Eilistraee worshippers and Drizz’t Do’Urden). I had all sorts of backup around here, including the militia and army, so I felt pretty comfortable issuing a challenge. First I wanted to size them up.

There were two priestesses – one with silver hair, one with standard white, but both carried the Scourge’s only Lolth’s priestesses carried. One male was gaunt and looked like a corpse, another was dressed in black and almost masked. A third had strange robes and a long spear, and the fourth had a huge falchion and some sort of tattoo across his arm.

A scouting party, I bet! Coming into town pretending to be ear collecting to get the layout and prepare for an invasion! Well, it ain’t gonna happen on my watch, darkies!

I stopped as we were passing them. The rest of my company stopped as well, somewhat puzzled.

“Well!!! Look at that! I bet they think they’re just hot stuff simply because they’re drow!” I turned and locked my amber eyes with the red eyes of the silver-haired priestess. She examined me for a second, put a hand on one of the males who was moving forward, said something in elven (I guess!) and then turned and walked on!

Huh?!?! Drow don’t do that!!! OOOOOHHH!!!! HOW DARE SHE IGNORE ME!!!

“Hmmph! Oh well, guess we’ll get ears elsewhere…” I tossed my hair back. WAIT!!! Did she back down because she thought I was drow in disguise!!! OH!!! Now I’m REALLY PISSED!!!

The gaunt corpse-like drow walked straight up to Franka. He wanted to buy the amulet I’d given to Franka way back! And he was offering a Staff of Fire! I did a quick detect magic and could see the whole drow party tense, until both priestesses waved their hands down.

Take the deal, Franka! Today I get to screw over a bunch of drow without fighting!!! A Staff of Fire for that worthless amulet!!! TAKE IT!!!

The negotiations went nowhere, and I could tell the city guard was getting anxious – they were closing on our positions, weapons ready. The silver haired priestess and I must have had the same idea at the same time – end the confrontation and meeting right now!

She marched up in all her plate mail clad glory and grabbed the male by the ear and issued an order (again in elven I guess), her hand flashing to the scourge. He turned and walked away. She and I locked eyes again for a second (do I see understanding in those eyes – it’s like somehow we’re connected in some way, maybe part of the same person… NAH, sentimental rubbish!).

I turned and bonked Franka on the head.

“NEXT TIME SOMEONE OFFERS YOU A STAFF OF FIRE FOR A LOUSY TRINKET – YOU SAY YES!!! Do you realize what I could do with that!!! No more down time! No more worries about running out of scrolls and such! YOU IDIOT!!! You owe me big time!!!”

The others were milling around, explaining to the guard a battle wasn’t going to happen, and waiting for me to finish my tirade (or temper tantrum as Cazz calls them – PPPHHTTT!!!!!!).

I grabbed Franka by the ear and pulled him along on our hunt for the gobboes.

Franka was upset. He was actually crying, softly, in a corner of the Inn’s main room. It was three in the morning on the same day we’d met the drow. I slipped downstairs to see if he was okay.

You see, later that day we’d been ambushed – I figured by the drow, but we couldn’t find them to confirm it. No one had been hurt, but the amulet had been stolen, and I’d really let Franka have it about that. I’d exhausted all my spells firing randomly into darkness (a drow trick!) to protect us, so we had had to return to town to sleep and for me to recover my spells. Now if I’d had that Staff of Fire… Oh well, water under the bridge, spilled milk and all that!

I looked around the room. There was no one else here except a drunken dwarf snoring on the side bench. I went over to Franka.

“Don’t worry about it, you need to get some sleep.”

“You don’t understand, Lina. There was something VERY important about that amulet. Not only did it talk to me, and make me know it needed to be protected by someone like me, but…”

“But? Go on, get it out, then you can go to sleep and I can quit worrying about you!”

“It was the first thing you ever gave me.”

I don’t know how I stopped myself from frying him. Maybe it’s because…

It was the middle of Uktar (November) – the 16th to be precise. My company and I were taking the journey easy. We were making some cash along the way – you know, clearing out bandits and doing odd bodyguard jobs here and there. After an invigorating sea passage from Uthmere, in The Great Dale, to Ilmwatch, in Impiltur (across the Easting Reach of the Sea of Fallen Stars) we’d headed out further north along the road to Damara. At least the sea passage invigorated me – Hans and Franka didn’t much care for it – they both turned green and couldn’t eat! Oh well, more food for Lina!!!

We’d crossed the Great Imphras River and were making for Trail’s End. Franka was kinda worrying me. He’d taken to talking to himself a lot (muttering under his breath and such). He always told me he was talking to that silly amulet I’d given him back in Hillsfar, but I figured he was just venting stuff – stuff he couldn’t vent as a Paladin. See, that’s an advantage of just venting on the spot – you don’t get it all bottled up inside. At least he was remaining himself. If he’d changed a bit and if that amulet radiated strong magic I might have thought it was sentient, or cursed, or both – but it had practically no aura, so I let him keep his toy and play with it if he wanted.

Cazz was still getting more attention from barmaids than I liked (oh well, his choice, he can start paying the child support later), but he was proving to be invaluable – if just to relieve my boredom with someone intelligent to talk to. He and I discussed everything from politics to religion to history (and how we managed to not kill each other I’ll never know). I was also learning a bit about sword fighting from both him and Franka. Cazz was learning tips on sorcery from me.

Hans seemed quiet, but I still let him give me his mace and went ahead and worked out with it. He and Franka were still obsessed with getting me strong, physically. They just didn’t seem to understand my strength is in my magic. I made sure he kept plenty of healing potions and had a healer’s kit and such. Everyone in this group (except me, most of the time!) always ended up with nicks, cuts and bruises after a battle.

Anyway, we were heading north, and at this point were close to the Rawlinswood. We’d been told a solitary Inn (Sign of the Purple Treant!!!) stood at the end of this day’s travel. We were walking along, Cazz and I in front and discussing the relative nature’s of Mystra’s last two incarnations, Hans and Franka behind with rocks in their hands doing their exercise, when the unwashed decided they had to make an appearance. Oh!!! I LOVE unexpected battles against bandits!!!

The guy who came out of the woods was BIG. Obviously a half-orc! The axe on his back was roughly the same height as he. I could sense we were surrounded – not good! If these guys had bows and were decent shots, it’d be rough on Cazz and the others – I had a scroll I could pop up and not sweat it, but it only worked for one. The leader looked at me. Funny how everyone just instinctively knows I’m the leader of this party!

“Youse guys knows the routine – hand over the stuff and the girl, then youse guys can move along and no one gets hurt – except her.” He laughed evilly.

What the heck!?! The guy was addressing the others – he was looking at me for… other purposes. Good thing I know none of my guys would ever just abandon me!

CHING!

Cazz had thrown his purse at the guy’s feet.

“Take her, and that’s what I’ve got. See ya around later, Lina!” He gave me a wink and started to walk forward past the half-orc. Okay, even if he’s just joking or has a plan he’s DEAD!!! I needed a plan, and fast! I knew Hans and Franka were waiting for commands, but what could I do? The bandits stood up on the west (left) side of us, holding nocked arrows and short bows. There were five of them. That meant at least five more on the right, and – yep – as I glanced over my shoulder, five behind. ALL had bows and nocked arrows. SHIT!!! I can survive, but I’d be killing Franka!!! Oh, and Hans as well! GRRRR!!! It’s times like these I wonder why I haven’t summoned a familiar yet – it could help me out greatly! What do I do?

“HII YAA! Chi Roon Tao!!!”

What the hell?? The voice suddenly shouted out from behind us and I watched a bandit get sliced in half by some weird polearm! A very short girl with black hair and strange features spun the staff in her hand, then leapt sideways and sliced another bandit. Okay!!! An ally!!! Now’s my chance, since one of the groups is already busy!!!

“Franka, the half orc!!! Cazz help him!!! Hans the woods on the right!!! I’ve got the left side!!!” Everybody sprang into action.

Franka charged forward with his sword just as Cazz deftly whipped out his mace and smashed the half-orc in the knee (the idiot had really believed Cazz was surrendering!). Hans ran forward toward the woods, casting his now normal spell as he ran.

“STATUS!” It told him when any of us were injured and in need of his healing. I turned and raised my hands, making a fan shape, then ran towards the archers on the left. I had to be close for this to work!

Twang!! Multiple Twangs as the archers released their arrows. I took one, right in the shoulder! OOWWW!!! I could hear clinks as others bounced off Hans’ armor, and probably Franka’s as well. There were more strange cries from the south, as that girl fought that element. There was a loud roar behind me from the half orc. I’d closed to range on the archers in front of me – now if I could keep my concentration!

“BURNING HANDS!” I DID keep my concentration! They were all grouped together so nicely, all but one went up in flames! The one who wasn’t burning dropped his bow and drew a short sword. I took a quick glance over my shoulder as I started chanting my next spell.

Franka was locked in battle with the half orc – who was at least as strong as he was. Great axe was clanging with long sword and shield. Cazz was on the ground, an arrow in his back, but was staggering up with his mace in his hand. Hans had a shield full of arrows, but was among the baddies and using his wrecking ball again. The girl was running, (SIDEWAYS!!!) and swinging around from apparently nothing, using that polearm to slice, cut and impale them. My main priority right now was to protect myself, then help out Franka! I whipped my head around just as the guy swung, and just as I finished my spell.

“Bulwark of Reality!”

I was amazed it went off, because the guy hit – a deep slash right across my stomach! I grabbed my stomach to keep everything inside and glared at him. Got to help Franka!!! I have to save him! I started my next spell.

The guy took a swing – this one missed!

“SCORCHING RAY!” The power surge I normally feel was a LOT bigger this time – was I just pissed off that much?

The Ray slammed the half orc, and almost singed Cazz, who had enough sense at the last moment to quickly change his position. The half orc looked like he was in trouble, so I whirled back around to MY opponent, and began yet another spell. I suddenly heard footsteps rapidly approaching me! Oh hell!!! I’m having enough trouble right now as it is! Oh well! I can beat anyone!

The bandit swung and nicked me in the leg – I’d have laughed if I didn’t have an arrow in my shoulder and hadn’t been holding my guts in place with one hand – but this one hurt! I fell to one knee, and used a spell I hadn’t cast for a few months (MAN, is my power of concentration awesome or what!!!).

“MAGIC MISSILE!”

The pink bolt shot forward, right between the guy’s eyes. He dropped, already singed a bit from my earlier spell. Now I turned to face my NEW opponent, who was…

“Hans!!!”

Her quickly looked at me and cast a spell.

“CURE LIGHT WOUNDS!”

The arrow in my shoulder popped out, and everything closed except a shallow cut on my abdomen.

“Thanks! Go help Franka! I’ll take care of the rest!”

“I figured you would, Lina, we just got taken off guard, that’s all.” He winked and smiled, then charged the half orc.

“SHIELD!”

A quick glance showed me the girl was handling herself for now, but three of the woods bandits (Hans’ original targets) were headed her way. That would make six opponents all in one small area. I whipped a scroll out.

“HEY YOU!!! GET OUTTA THERE NOW!!!”

She looked at me for a second, then I saw something shoot from her belt and attach to the single tree near me, as she started swinging (HUH?!?) through the air toward me, I completed reading the scroll. Once again I felt the power surge and she looked shocked as my whole body took on a visible golden aura.

“FIREBALL!!!”

The scroll disintegrated in my hands. The bandits vaporized at the end of the golden trail the fireball left in its wake. WOW! That one was more powerful than the special one I used back in the Dales! There’s a crater in the ground! Must be because I’m so pissed off!

The girl landed gracefully next to me and I saw something retract into her belt. I turned to check out how the others were doing.

The fireball had evidently impressed EVERYONE. The big fight going on between the half orc and my friends had basically stopped and everyone was looking at me. The one archer remaining from the eastern force had his jaw hanging open and his eyes as wide as saucers!

CRAP!!! NOW I remember why that one was so powerful! That was the scroll I found in Myth Drannor, with the book! DAMN! PAY MORE ATTENTION, LINA!!! I had planned on saving that one for a special occasion – oh well, at least it was flashy!

I assumed my pose and tossed my hair over my shoulder.

“Okay bandits! You know the routine! Surrender and I just MIGHT let you live!”

There were a couple of loud thunks as the great axe and weapons hit the ground.

“Please donts kills us!” This was from the half orc. “Wese was just doings our job!”

“Well, that depends on where your loot is and how much there is of it! After all, it has to be enough to overcome my natural sense of enjoyment at frying bandits like you!” The others were used to this side of me, but evidently the strange girl was not.

“Taking something that does not belong to you is dishonorable.” She had a strange accent and foreign features, but at least she was shorter than me! Even if she does actually have a lot of cleavage. “These men should be turned over to the authorities, along with all of the property they have stolen, which can then be returned to its rightful owners.”

Cazz and I looked at each other, then at her.

“You have GOT to be kidding me, miss…?”

“Chang. Chang Xiu from Kara-Tur. And no, I was not kidding. Your honor would be stained by robbing from robbers.”

“Well, I guess I needn’t worry then, Chang – it’s all black by now if that’s how ya feel. See, that’s how adventurers make their living, ‘cus just beating up these guys won’t feed me tonight. Are you trying to say that in exploring a ruin you’re supposed to try and find the rightful owners of all the old items? Or that when you wipe out an orc tribe you gotta try and return every item found to the destroyed villages? Sheesh, get a clue!” I turned to the half orc. “So where’s the loot, big guy? Or do I start preparing a barbeque?”

Chang stood aside as we were taken to the gang’s hideout. She followed, but seemed resigned that I was going to stain my honor – I guess she wanted to watch it turn brown or something. These guys had been moderately successful, and it sure helped fill up some depleted purses amongst my group, so I felt I’d be generous and actually let these guys go.

“Okay boys, you two can hit the road. Just be sure and remember my name – Lina Inverse! And don’t let me catch you robbing anybody again!” I figured the free advertising was another good reason to let them go.

“Miss Lina?” Chang asked, “You can’t seriously be intending on letting these robbers go free, are you?” The two guys stopped with ‘uh oh’ looks on their faces.

“Why not? I’m in a generous mood today. You can even have some of this loot, if you like, since you did help us.”

“I would never do something like that – but these two men. What if they rob the next traveler on the road, since you have deprived them of all their money and now THEY cannot eat? How will that make you feel?”

UGH! Is this girl going to question everything? I feel another headache coming on!

“Fine, I’ll just blast ‘em and that’ll end it.”

The two guys were already running down the road as fast as they possibly could.

I’m taking a lot of stock out in an aspirin factory very soon. I could make a fortune on it, since I’ve been going through the stuff like candy ever since Chang – Little Miss Honor – joined us.

That first night we all had a long talk over dinner (I think we ate the place out, between the Brothers Dim and me – Cazz had his usual one meal and Chang was broke but wouldn’t take bandit money so she ate a bowl of soup and munched on the complimentary crackers). I tried explaining to her what it meant to be an adventurer – even Franka and Hans gave it a shot (THEY don’t have a problem with looting from bandits, and Franka’s a Paladin for Mystra’s sake!). Cazz simply ate and sipped his wine with this gleeful expression on his face (when he wasn’t staring down Chang’s cleavage! Pervert!). No dice, this chick was one honor bound girl – she reminded me in some ways of my older sister, UGH!!!

Chang was right around my age, though shorter, as I said, and well, I said the second part earlier too! She was a member of a group from a monastery (where she was a temple guard), and on a Holy Quest to recover some sort of relic that had been stolen. She’d gotten separated from her group when they were attacked by a tribe of horsemen (must have been in Narfell – they don’t like outsiders in the area) and was in need of money and help to either find her companions or the relic.

I explained to her that she was welcome to stick around, but she had to follow my lead and while she was free to refuse any loot for herself, she had to let the rest of us earn our money. We ended up deciding to sleep on it, and since she didn’t have money for a room, I let her crash in mine. Why did Cazz have that strange look on his face? What a CREEP!!!

The next several days were uneventful, just traveling, getting to know her, her getting to know us (Cazz getting put down gently). Turns out she was a battle master – something along the lines of a general-in-training. She really knew her tactics when we ran through simulated fights. I decided she’d be a pretty good asset to the company, IF she could stop moralizing all the time!

We arrived at Trail’s End just about the end of the month – right when I would lose all my powers. We paid a quick visit to Heliogabalus, the capitol, so that we could all obtain our legitimate papers to participate in the “ear bounty” scheme. They didn’t cost us anything, which is good, since I found out you really didn’t need the papers – but hey, it made us truly official and seemed to please Chang a lot. Then it was off towards Bloodstone Pass – the site of an epic battle about the time I was born, and the entry into Vaasa. By the time we got there I’d be at full strength and all those with collectible ears beware!