Due to an unexpectedly high number of Rokea attacks on various Elysiums, the Camarilla has decided to print this handy guide on how to safely survive the unlikely event of a wereshark attack.

Don'ts:

1. Use Majesty, it only makes you look tastier.

2. Use Dominate. It is very hard to look at both of his eyes at the same time.

3. Use Alacrity: If you are using it to get closer to its mouth.

4. Use Vicissitude : They don't care what shape you are in when they put you in their mouth.

5. Hang around the Nosferatu. This makes you look like the meaty one.

6. Use Potence: This just gets you closer to being eaten.

7. Mention your generation. He just hears 'vintage'.

8. Use Auspex. He's 10' tall, hungry and mostly mouth. What more do you need to know?

9. Challenge him to single combat. He's got a lot more teeth than you have wounds.

10. Read this list. If you're reading this while he's attacking, you're all ready chum.

Do's:

1. Use Animalism. They might fill up on hor dourves first.

2. Use Fortitude. If you can soak the first 10 wounds, he'll think you're stringy and spit you out.

3. Use Alacrity: Only to get away, which should be obvious.

4. Change editions. I hear they lost a lot in Forsaken.

5. Hang around the Samedi. He might think you've already been eaten.

6. Use Obfuscate. If you have to read this to figure it out turn in your fangs.

7. Use Protean. We suggest the form of a Remora.

8. Hang around the True Brujah. He's so munchkined out he'll buy you extra time before he's eaten.

9. Stick close to the Bushi. They like chinese food. But run fast in 30 minutes they'll be frenzying again.

10. Join the Sabbat. That school of fish thing might actually work.