Chronicles of Faerun: Prelude to the Prelude

Chapter Four: How Cazz the Illusionist Redeemed Himself, or – “Why I Didn’t Kill Cazz when I woke up and Recovered.” (continued...)

The snow was light and pleasant. We were marching along the streets of Emmech, in Aglarond, on a job for one of the local merchants – take out a thieves’ den in the sewer system below. It was around 8:00 p.m. on the 11th of Marpenoth (October). An early snowfall, but I enjoyed it. Hans and Franka were behind me, and Cazz brought up the rear. We arrived at the sewer entrance.

WAIT!

Huh? Did you just ask me to wait?

I just skipped four months of activity! I know you’re dying to hear what all happened! Well, in a nutshell…

Lina’s Slayers had quite a few adventures. We walked all the way from Hillsfar, by the Moonsea, to Aglarond (I wanted to visit it because the Symbul, one of my all-time fav Sorceresses is the ruler here, so we went because I said so!). I made the others follow my wanderlust, and they seemed not to mind. Along the way we wiped out some gobboe parties, orc parties, bandit gangs, and spread the fame of Lina and company to the Unapproachable East, as Faerunians call it (though it IS a part of Faerun!).

I forgave Cazz – and he stayed sober during jobs (though his roving eyes spent more of HIS money than they should have – oh well, his choice!), made a friend out of him, got closer to Hans and Franka (mostly Franka – I think he has a crush on me! But he’s so polite he never says or does anything – now if I can only replace his Chum with a brain!), and made (and spent) a lot of money. Mostly on food! We had our squabbles – all parties do – but my leadership took care of all the potential problems.

We’d arrived in Aglarond a month ago. The locals here don’t like Art users, even though they’re ruled by the most powerful sorceress on Toril (that’ll be ME someday…). We gained their trust though, by fighting evil – maybe a little TOO much trust, since some of them (in whispers I heard when I was around) were speculating I was the Symbul’s Daughter or something! My age and my power <SIGH> - always incompatible for some reason in most people’s minds. Of course when you wipe out ten orcs by yourself at 15 and aren’t a warrior or fighter, I guess I can see why they were mistaken.

ANYWAY. That’s why we were in Aglarond. Now back to my tale.

“Franka, the cover, please.”

Franka bent down and grabbed the cover to the sewers, lifting the heavy steel grate like it was a loaf of bread. Oh! His muscles bulge so nicely! WAIT!!! FOCUS LINA!!!

“My turn! LIGHT!” I simply cast the spell on my hand this time. Franka moved to go down first.

“Me first, Franka – this is a thieves den we’re entering.” Cazz bent down while I gave him the light and he carefully examined the ladder. He took the ladder down about halfway with me right behind and stopped. He fiddled with something, then I heard a ‘click.’”

“Disarmed – simple bolt trap.”

He continued down, carefully watching his footing, and we all arrived at the stone ledges on either side of the effluent.

“Have another one, Cazz – the better the lighting, the better the seeing. LIGHT!” Cazz’s mace began to glow.

We wandered around the sewers for a bit – at times like these I wish we had a Ranger in our company so we could just follow tracks! The usual giant rats abounded, and we (I, that is, since Cazz doesn’t do much with fire!) had to fry a patch of green slime along the way. There was also this fifty foot long alligator… Okay so that part’s a joke! (Don’t you people love how I use metaphors and lingo that doesn’t exist in Toril – proof I’m more than one dimensional, if you get my drift!). The green slime and the rats weren’t a problem – I let Cazz and the boys deal with the rats (he sure is good with that crossbow, even if it takes him a year to reload it!).

We’d headed down a tributary (is that the right word for a sewer?) branch when Cazz (after I’d renewed the light on his mace) called us all to a halt.

“No one move.”

He bent down and took a bunch of tools out of his pouch. I knew they were thieves’ tools, but hadn’t ever really looked at them in detail (and usually they were all melted by the time I got to see them anyway – you know me and bandits!). I squatted down to watch closely.

He took a small pry bar and lifted one of the flagstones, using a long thin probe to feel around the edges before removing the whole shebang. There were some gears and levers and fulcrums and such underneath. He examined all of them carefully, then took some sort of thingamajig and popped out one of the gears lower down, then removed it with a different thingamabob. I was glad HE knew what he was doing – I’d have just told everyone to stand back and blasted the whole array with a scorching ray spell. When I mentioned that he quipped back.

“Glad I’m here, then – this is a gas trap – by the looks of it explosive. You’d have ended up dropping the whole sewer on top of yourself.”

Like I’ve said, sometimes I’m impetuous and impatient. HEY – NO ONE”S PERFECT!!!

Cazz carefully replaced the stone and then stepped back.

“Just in case you all might want to retreat say fifteen feet.”

We all stepped back without arguing, and Cazz put his foot right on the stones and stepped forward. There was a click and a whirr, then nothing. He turned to us and grinned. He spoke the same words at the same moment I did.

“If they put that powerful of a trap here, they must have an entrance nearby!” The brothers dim, as usual, just scratched their heads and shrugged their shoulders. They were used to me and Cazz having all the ideas and them just putting forth the muscle. All of us began searching the nearby walls.

To everyone’s astonishment, instead of me (the usual finder of doors!), it was Hans who discovered the secret door. He literally put his hand right through it! What it was, was an illusory wall, with about five feet of space and then a solid metal door. Cazz again took the lead.

You know, I’m GLAD I didn’t kill him back at Hillsfar – he can do SO many things when he’s sober, things I’d have to have the Brothers Dim attempt, or me, and I can’t do everything, as much as I think I can. And he doesn’t spend party money on women or booze or drugs – just his own, which is his business, not mine. He’s a good companion, if he’d just lay off on the wisecracks about my mother and the intimations about me when I turn 18!!! Maybe I SHOULD fry him a little…

He advanced slowly, checking the floor, the walls and the door before examining the lock. Out came more tools and in a minute or so…

CLICK!

“There’s no trap here that I can see, but everyone stay back just in case.” He opened the door slowly. There was a short hallway, then a stone stair leading up. Cazz moved forward, his mace at the ready. There was a torch at the top of the stairs.

“Lina, do you mind?” Cazz looked at me. I snapped my fingers and the Light spell dissipated from his mace. I partially readied my Shield spell (not enough to cast it, ya know, but enough to get it off fast if I had to). Since my staff had been burned up back in Hillsfar, I drew my short sword. I really need to go ahead and ask Franka for lessons on how to use this thing, since all I know is you slash and stab with the pointy end! Go ahead and laugh! I can fry ALL of you anytime with my spells!!! I just, uhh… suck at melee combat.

I flicked my mantle back over my shoulder so I’d have a clear shot at my scrollcase, and tossed my hair over the opposite shoulder.

“All yours, Cazz – let’s take out some bandits!” I gave him a big wink.

From the expression on his face, the wink wasn’t a good idea. Don’t get any weird ideas about tonight, you pervert!!!

We marched up the steps, and Cazz picked the lock on the next door. He opened it just enough to see through. I could hear raucous laughter and chat from down that hall – sounded like a party! I turned to the boys.

“Well, looks like our bandits are having a party – what say we crash it!” I had a huge grin on my face. All of them nodded and the Brothers Dim gave me ‘thumbs up’ signs.

“SHIELD!

“Bulwark of Reality!”

As usual, Cazz looked at me strangely after I cast Bulwark. It had to be the golden aura that was clearly visible after I cast the spell. This time he actually said something, though, in a whisper.

“I wish I knew what the hell you were doing when you perform that casting, Lina, it kind of scares me.”

Like it doesn’t scare ME! I honestly wish I knew what the hell I was doing when I cast the spell, too. All I know is it works! And that’s all I care about! Well, that, and the really cold feeling and the surge of power I feel flowing through my body and the fact that I found it in a book dealing with the Lady of… Sorry, I have to shut up the internal monologue here – I don’t know you well enough yet!

Franka drew his sword, Hans readied his mace. Both put their shields in position and I used some tricks of my own.

“RESISTANCE!” I cast it on Franka. Cazz grinned at me, and gave me a wink. What is that for?!? Cazz handed me a handful of crossbow bolts. I stuck them in my belt. Hans chanted a Bless, and then we marched down the hall, in standard order, since we figured there were no more traps – Me, Franka, Hans, then Cazz.

We came to the door the noise was coming from – lots of laughter and clinking of cups and mugs. Oh was this going to be TOO easy!!!

I put my hand on the knob, turned it, then kicked the door open and strode in, my hands on my hips and half of a Scorching Ray already cast. There was a stunned silence after a second or so while everyone absorbed the impressiveness of ME! Chestnut hair, amber eyes, perfect, absolutely fabulous petite figure, gorgeous clothes (thanks to Franka!), complexion unblemished! No wonder they paused!

“HEY BOYS! LINA INVERSE IS HERE TO JOIN THE PARTY!!! Along with her Slayers!” I added the last as a whisper.

I’d ID’d the leader – the slightly built guy on the comfy chair (hehe!) at the head of the room. No time to waste, no spells to waste – git ‘er done!

“SCORCHING RAY!!!”

The blast shot forth and slammed into an empty chair! HE’D DODGED!!! WTF!?!?! Okay, so this one might be tougher than I expected!

Franka charged in right past me and began engaging something like four opponents at once. My protector! Oh goodie! Now I can really burst out! Jeez he’s so awesome in melee! <Shakes head> FOCUS LINA!!!

Hans rushed in and headed for two of the bandits. He cast a spell!!! What the heck!!! Hans is casting a spell instead of just attacking!!! Am I going insane!!!

“STATUS!” He shouted it at the top of his powerful lungs, then swung his mace at a bandit and crushed the guy’s shoulder!

Cazz appeared in the room at that moment and cast a pretty impressive spell.

“COLOR SPRAY!”

I wasn’t sure if he knew it, or had a scroll – I had my own problems, but about six bandits dropped, so either way it was effective!

My problem was simple – the Leader. He’d dodged my ray, then snuck around and tried to stab me in the back! I blocked his short sword with a combination (I assume) of luck and my spells and my own short sword. The other thirty or so bandits were ganging up on my friends. OH!!! This does NOT look good… Did we bite off more than we can chew? NAAHHH!!! NO WAY!!! Come on!!! We’re LINA’S SLAYERS!!! We can take on ANYONE!!! KEEP FIGHTING, LINA!!! NEVER SAY DIE, LINA!!!

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Franka and Hans each fell an opponent, then watched as Cazz reappeared from the shadows and crushed in another baddie’s skull. Their ranks are thinning – but this Leader guy is up to ME!

WHAT THE F@#&!!! THIS GUY IS CASTING A SPELL!!! ‘Critical Strike’, huh? Trying to do me in with one blow – JUST TRY IT!

I laughed at him as the blow glanced off the Bulwark, and started chanting my next spell.

“Try and dodge this, asshole!

“BURNING HANDS!!!”

I’ll give him credit, he ducked so it only burned off his pony tail and singed him – he WAS quick! Three of his cronies weren’t so lucky though, and went up in flames, never to arise again. He stood back up in front of me and pointed his sword in my direction. Franka was trying to desperately to get over to me, while Cazz had disappeared again and Hans had his hands full with six or so bad guys.

“So we meet again, Lina Inverse! Where’s you’re big-breasted friend, Naga, and her annoying laugh? Did you get tired of women?” This was from the bandit leader.

My reaction was a combination. First, I was surprised the guy knew me – and Naga! Must be some survivor from one of our early kills… Second, I was pissed – what WAS this guy insinuating!!! OH HE WAS SO DEAD!!!

“So you know me – then you know you can’t win – just give up and we’ll let the authorities deal with ya, okay?” Franka had felled two more on his way over, Hans had felled one and another he was engaged with had retreated back. Cazz was still unseen.

“OF COURSE I KNOW YOU! YOU SLAUGHTERED THE RED BROTHERS AND STOLE EVERYTHING WE HAD! WE WERE AN ACROBATIC TROUPE!!! YOU AND THAT BIG-TITTED, LAUGHING MORON!!! I HAD TO TURN TO BANDITRY TO SURVIVE!!! AND ONLY BECAUSE I WAS GETTING WATER AT THE TIME YOU ATTACKED!!!” He looked very angry… (Guess that’s an understatement!)

I remembered now – not HIM, but the attack. I’d TOLD Naga I didn’t think they were bandits, but she had this thing against anyone that wore all reddish colors (like me, <SIGH>), so she waded in and I had to follow. It was the last battle we fought together. I’d gotten my sword from that battle – which was probably why this guy was eyeing it so closely.

“Sorry, pal, wasn’t my idea, but you can go after Naga anytime ya like – I’ll even help. Tell ya what – call off all the attacks and clear out and we can call it even – I won’t even loot from here!”

“IT’S TOO LATE FOR THAT, LINA INVERSE!!!” And so the guy threw my peace offer right back in my face – along with his sword. Well, okay, he didn’t throw it, he swung it. Unfortunately for him, I had my spell ready (I’m really good at muttering under my breath while I speak other things!).

“SCORCHING RAY!!!” And yeah, I WOULD have let him walk out alive if he’d taken my deal…

He took it full on, and was pushed back, then hit something and stopped. He wasn’t dead, just surprised. He looked over his shoulder, slumped in pain and smoldering from my blast.

“What the…?”

Cazz appeared and smashed his head in with his mace. Talk about a sneak attack!

“You okay, Lina?”

“I’m fine, Cazz, let’s finish this!”

“Okay, but I DO want to know what he was talking about! Especially the big-busted part!”

OHH!!! Why don’t you line up with one of my rays so I can get rid of YOU too, you freaking pervert!!!

Franka had turned his attention back to his own opponents, after I gave him a quick ‘thumbs up.’ Hans was actually DRIVING his opponents back – they were afraid of getting hit by the wrecking ball his mace had become. I think I need to learn Bull’s Strength for these guys – they’d be able to bench rhinoceroses!

Cazz sort of slunk away into the shadows again. I lined up an opponent facing Franka and…

“ORB OF FIRE!” The opponent went up in flame when the ball smacked him.

The remainder of the battle was pretty similar, so I’ll skip the details. There wasn’t much actual loot, but we DID get paid 750 dragons for taking out the “Red Hoods,” as the gang had styled themselves.

After a hot bath (for ALL of us – and in SEPARATE rooms, you pervs!!!), and then a visit to our employer, we were richer, comfortable, and all sat down at a table in the Inn (Sign of the Singing Sorceress – change one letter and It’d describe ME!!! Singing – Singeing… Get it?).

“HEY, WAITRESS!!! I’ll have everything from #1 to #12, double portions!!!” She looked shocked.

“Yeah, and I’ll have #2, #4, #7 and #10 – Triple portions!!!” This was from Franka.

“I’ll have #8 to #12, triple portions as well!” Hans ordered.

Cazz winked at the cute waitress.

“Normally I’d have leftovers, but I don’t think there will be any. Let me have a #5, medium rare, with mushrooms and a potato and Imperial dressing on my salad.” She looked relieved he’d ordered normal. Wait! Did Cazz just get a wink from her!!! Poor girl…

There weren’t any leftovers.

BUT, in between bites we decided on our course of action.

Damarra still had that bounty going – on ears! Orc, goblin, troll (now that’s a tough one! Since they regenerate NEW trolls!), bandits, hobgoblins – you name it, they paid a bounty. I was only hanging around Aglarond in the hopes that the Symbul would take notice of me and maybe offer to meet me or something. That hadn’t happened, and I didn’t see it coming, so I was ready to wander on.

We slept (same arrangements as always, since Hillsfar), bathed the next morning, stocked up on rations, and headed into the north on a totally fine, gorgeous early winters’ day. I’d replaced my staff for snow purposes, since we were heading north, but those clothes Franka had bought me were both warm AND cool as needed. Gosh he’s so good to me! Cazz gave the waitress a long kiss goodbye the next morning (HOW many kids does he have all over the place, already!!!), and we trudged off north, towards Damarra.