Chronicles of Faerun: Prelude to the Prelude

Chapter Four: How Cazz the Illusionist Redeemed Himself, or – “Why I Didn’t Kill Cazz when I woke up and Recovered.”

I woke up to a familiar ceiling, but I could only see out of one eye. I was in my room at the Three Jesters, lying in bed. I moved my one eye around and noticed first that I wasn’t in any pain, and second that my other eye could move and see, but it seemed to be covered by something. Then third, I noticed Franka sitting in a chair next to my bed. He was asleep with his sword lying across his knees. A tiny bit of drool was coming from his mouth onto his lap – EEWW!!!

I was ravenous right now! I tried to move – no dice – I felt like I was completely constrained by something. Next I tried talking.

“MMphh mmphh mmpphh!” Tasted like bandages! So THAT’S what had happened. The guys just didn’t know I felt fine right now. I decided to try a spell I had memorized, and see if that would work. I could move my fingers just fine, and this one simply made a door or window open quietly – it also needed no verbal component.

Silent Portal!

The door to my room opened, noiselessly. Now if only someone loud could walk by…

It didn’t take long. A rowdy group of men came lumbering down the hall. Franka woke with a start and wiped the drool from his face.

“Huh? How’d the door get open?” He got up and walked over to close it.

“MMPPHH!!!! MMPPHHHH!!!”

Franka closed the door and then turned to me.

“Lina!!! You’re awake!!!” He rushed over to the bed. “Are you okay and all? You were severely injured – it took all the healing Hans and I could do to keep you from dying, and then when we got back here it took several priests to fix all the damage.” He looked genuinely concerned and delighted – that was so sweet. <SIGH> If only he had a brain!

“Mmmpphh Mph Mph MMPh.”

“Oh no! You’re in pain? I’ll fetch another priest!”

NO!!! You idiot! Take off the godsdamned bandages!

Franka must have seen the look in my eye, because he stopped.

“OH!!! I guess you could tell me what you need if I loosened the bandages around your mouth!” He seemed delighted with himself that he’d had that brilliant idea without me coaxing him verbally!

The door opened and Hans and Cazz walked in. Cazz had some sort of liquid drink in his hands, with a long straw.

“Is she awake?” Hans asked when he saw Franka leaning over me about to loosen my bandages.

“Yes!!! She wants to tell me something.” Franka began loosening the wrappings.

“Do we absolutely HAVE to, Franka?” This was from Cazz. OH!!! HE IS SO MUCH WORMFOOD WHEN I GET THROUGH WITH HIM!!!

“Think about how peaceful and pleasant a time we’ve had in the six days since the accident. No insults, no slaps, no hitting. I admit, I owe her a great deal, and it WAS my fault, but do you two really want to be called the Brother’s Dim in front of everyone again?”

Franka must have noticed the whole right side of my face was twitching.

“It’s okay for now, Cazz – it’s That Time of the Month.” And he gave a self congratulatory smile and nod, since he’d finally apparently remembered! SIX DAYS!!! GODS!!! HOW MUCH OF OUR MONEY DID THEY SPEND!!!

Franka took the bandages off from around my face and mouth. I noticed he didn’t remove the mummy-like swathes around the rest of me. I opened my mouth to speak. Cazz cut me off.

“Cleric’s orders, Lina – we’re not joking with you. You were very near death. Hans and Franka cast everything they had, we used all your healing potions, all of our healing potions, and still had to have clerics come in to finish up and get rid of all the scars and such. That explosion took out the whole bedroom. Turns out there was a safe in the room with a bunch of gemstones. We recovered them and Mr. Vask cut us in and gave us half the value – so we made 2000 dragons this job!” He was attempting to smile, but I could tell it was weak.

“Umm, here – cleric’s orders – cream of mushroom and onion soup, but just the broth – you’re not to have solid food until tomorrow morning.” He sat the big bottle in front of me. “You can, however, have as much of it as you like. And Lina – Miss Inverse – I’m very sorry. I absolutely promise I’ll never be under the influence on a mission or job again. If it weren’t for you, Franka would probably be dead. And possibly the rest of us, since you took the major blast and shielded us with your body. I donated all of my share to your healing fund.” He turned and left the room.

I remained silent and began sipping my broth – it was excellent at least, though I wish it’d had the mushrooms and onions in it. Hans was examining all my bandages – normally I’d have been really upset over him touching my legs and such, but I knew he was doing it for chirurgery reasons. Franka was simply watching me. Then a sudden thought hit me.

“HEY!!!” Broth flew out of my mouth and spattered the side of Hans’ head. “WHO THE HECK UNDRESSED ME TO TREAT THE WOUNDS?!?!?!?”

Hans and Franka both jumped back. Then Franka took the lead.

“Well, Lina, there really wasn’t much left of your clothes after the fire, so I wrapped you in a curtain and carried you back here. Then some priestess from the Shrine of Loviatar came twice and tended you and changed bandages. I couldn’t find any other temple willing to deal with a Paladin. It’s a good thing we didn’t need spells cast, or it’d have cost us more than the 1500 she charged to get you healed up!” He looked like he was happy again.

“1500!!! 1500 WHAT?!? NOBLES OR DRAGONS!?!?!?!?” OH MY GODS, OH MY GODS!!!

“Dragons – they gave us a discount because they thought you were pretty and like a ten year old girl. OH! I had two new sets of clothes made for you.” He rummaged in the wardrobe and held up two sets of identical clothing just like I’d worn before. “I splurged and got them made of better, softer materials, because I know your skin will be delicate for a bit!” He smiled again, “But now you’re all healed up, and no scars!”

I’d have accepted the scars if it had meant not spending 1500 dragons – so long as they weren’t on my face!

I slumped back down.

“Please undo the bandages – if it was a priestess of Loviatar, I need to survey the damage she did. She’s not called the Maiden of Pain for nothing, you know! Just the ones holding my hands to my sides.” Now I knew why I was totally tied up – Loviatar’s worshippers are into that sort of thing. Perverts!

“Umm, I dunno, Lina.”

“JUST DO IT FRANKA!!!”

So he did. Then I kicked them both out of the room. Once the door was shut, I got rid of all the bandages, stood up, locked the door (I WAS completely unclothed, and, as I’d suspected, though Hans had avoided the area, the Priestess had left an “entrance” at one point!). I walked over to the mirror and checked myself out. No scars, no marks, just my cute, extra-petite body exactly as it always looked – though my skin was a bit pinkish. At least that priestess knew how to get rid of battle wounds – the scars from the drow’s rapier were gone!

“BUT 1500 DRAGONS!!!!! ARRGGHHH!!!!!!!”

I could hear Franka knock on the door.

“Lina, are you okay?”

“Go away for now! I’m pissed!”

“Ummm, okay… But how’d the door get locked? How are we supposed to care for you?”

“JUST GO AWAY CHUM BRAIN!!!”

As the footsteps receded I could hear Hans saying to Franka,

“You know, brother, Cazz WAS right. It was a lot more peaceful when she was all bandaged.”

OOOHHH!!! When I get my powers back… Let’s see, six days since the 28th (early), that means it’s the 4th of Kythorn – six more days…

I went over to the wardrobe and dressed in the clothes Franka had bought for me. To my surprise they fit perfectly, were an exact match to my old outfit, and were super comfortable – silk, cotton and cashmere wool, I guessed. I figured Chum Brain had blown the other 500 dragons on these two outfits – but that was okay, since I’d have paid that much for these two anyway – they really felt that good against my skin. I buckled on my sword belt, checked to make sure all my remaining potions and scrolls were still around (they were), that the boys had picked up my hidden pocket stuff and replaced it (they had! And no gems were missing!!!) and then went to the door and opened it. I stood for a second in the doorway and flipped my hair over my left shoulder.

“Get ready, world! Lina Inverse is back in business!”